Gone
by HeyItzKat
Summary: Where is Jade? something awful has happened to her, can they find her in time? A BADE STORY. loosely based on the book "Dear Jo". rated T for some talk of more mature themes.
1. Chapter 1: Gone

**A/N: This new fan fiction is based loosely off the book "Dear Jo." Oh and just to let you know, in my mind Beck and Jade never broke up. They are still happily dating. I think I'm in denial. Read the end notes if you're at all confused by the story.**

Dear Journal,

**Okay ya, I'm not starting with that every time i have to write**

Dear Diary,

**Seriously what do I look like? A 9 year old girl? No freaking way.**

March 1st 2012,

**That I can handle. Now if my mom would quit reading over my shoulder maybe I could actually write something. Isn't this supposed to be a PRIVATE book? Okay she left. Alright, so ya, I'm supposed to be keeping this book of all the things I'm feeling and thinking, and just basically what happens each day. They call it an "expression book." Honestly, you can call it what you want, but at the end of the day its still practically a diary. Ya that's right, Beck Oliver has a diary. This is normally where Jade would come in and laugh at me. You know call me a sap or possibly ask me if I was sure I was an 18 year old guy. But see, that's the problem, Jades not here. And if she was here, well I wouldn't be writing in this now would I? I'm not sure why I'm explaining everything. I'm the only one that will ever read this, so why am I pretending it's like a book for everyone to read? I think is because I'm so used to writing scripts and plays that are put on for an audience. This is kind of a new experience for me, and I'm not sure I like it. I wouldn't even being doing this if my parents hadn't decided that this would be an appropriate way of coping with my feelings. And if i don't write stuff in the book? Well as they put it, **_**I**_** would basically be hurting them as well as myself. So being the agreeable person I am, I'm writing. And I really wish Jade was here to tell me to stop. To tell me that this will never work and I'm completely stupid. But like I said before...She's no. Because Jade's gone. No we didn't break up or anything, she's just gone. Disappeared. Left without a trace. And no one knows where she is. Not even me.**

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><p><strong>March 2<strong>**nd**

**I'm being forced to write at the moment. I'm supposed to write about the night Jade disappeared. The police and my parents think it might help me to remember a few details I may have forgotten. But trust me, I didn't forget any. I told them every single thing that happened that night, although everyone seems to think I missed a few facts. They're wrong. I never forget a single moment with Jade.**

**It was a week and a half ago today. Friday night. Jade was over at my RV as usual. When her curfew came at 11:00 I grabbed my keys to take her home. Usually her mom picked her up, but as Jade had told me earlier, her mom was out of town tonight.**

"**What do you think you're doing Beck?" she questioned me.**

"**Bringing you home," I replied just as smoothly.**

"**You do realize my house is only like a 20 minute walk right? I think i can manage to walk that distance."**

"**Really Jade it's no problem, it'll take 2 minutes."**

"**Exactly," said Jade. "So what's the point? Let me walk, I'll be fine."**

"**But-" I tried to argue.**

"**Beck i swear if you don't shut up and let me go I will walk out of this RV now and never come back. I'm not 2. Nobody needs to hold my hand crossing the street, and nobody needs to drive me home. I LIKE walking at night, and I never get to seeing as my stupid mother insists on picking me up. I can handle myself."**

**With that Jade walked swiftly out the door and left leaving me standing dumbstruck inside. I opened the door after her and waved while blowing her a kiss knowing she had won this one. I thought about getting in my truck and following her, but she'd kill me if she ever found out I did. But before I turned back inside I sent her a text saying:**

**To Jade**

**From Beck**

**Okay you won this one I'll let you walk. But please do me a favour and send me a text when you get home saying you made it safe. Promise me. Love you.**

**She replied back almost instantly.**

**To Beck**

**From Jade**

**I always win. And don't count on it, my phones about to die and our house phone is broken. If it still has battery by the time I get home I will. Promise, and if not I'll text you tomorrow morning for sure. Don't worry about me. I love you too.**

**So when she didn't text me that night I wasn't too worried. Her phone had most likely died. The next morning when I woke up I checked my texts right away. There was 1 from Andre, 2 from Cat and about 6 from Robbie, but none from Jade. Still i wasn't overly concerned. Jade loved to sleep in, she probably wasn't even up yet. By 2:00 I was getting anxious. I checked my phone every minute waiting for the text i was sure would come eventually. At 2:30 I heard a knock at my door. Relieved I pulled it open expecting o see Jade standing there as she usually was. But it wasn't her. It was her mom looking extremely upset.**

"**Beck is Jade here?**

**My heart sank. "No," i replied. "Didn't she come home last night?"**

"**No her brother says she never did. I've tried calling her cell phone about 20 times but I'm getting no answer, have you tried?"**

"**Ya but I can't get through to her either." I said starting to feel light-headed.**

"**Do you know where she might have gone?" her mother looked frantic.**

"**No, when she left last night she said she was walking straight home. I'm so sorry she wouldn't let me drive her, I tried, I really-"her mother cut me off placing a hand on mine.**

"**I'm sure she's fine." She tried to say calmly. But i could feel her hand shaking on top of mine."I'm going o drive around and look for her for a bit. Let me know AS SOON as you hear anything." I nodded dumbly as she left. Walking back to my bed I sank down and took in what i had just heard. It was hard to hear. That night, when there was still no sign of Jade, her mother called the police. They interviewed me and my parents for hours. Asking me things about me, about Jade, about us. They asked me if she had ever talked of running away. I said she had, but it was always together. She said if she ever ran away, she would take me with her, and i fully believed her. I basically told them everything I just wrote in here, so I'm not going to write out the interview. My hand is cramping up. The next morning they concluded she wasn't a run away. How? They found Jade's jacket with her cell phone in the pocket at the side of the road. The jacket was covered in specks of blood. A simple DNA scan proved the worst. It was Jade's blood.**

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><p><strong><span>March 2<span>****nd**** (later)**

**No one is making me write this time. I'm doing i because i want to. It's been over a week and they haven't found out anymore about Jade yet. No one will tell me anything either. But I've been spending a lot of time in the house lately and I hear their whispers. Murder. Suicide. Could that be what happened to Jade? I don't believe any of them. They can't be tru—**

**There are police at my door. I hope its good news. We could all use good news.**

**March 2****nd**** (even later that night)**

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><p><strong>Jade has been kidnapped<strong>

**A/N: so like i said above this is my new chapter fic loosely based on the book "dear Jo" i came up with this idea sweeping floors at the diner i work at and i had to write it. I think it turned out well. And yes future chapters WILL have Jade's P.O.V in them. And yes all of the chapters will be set up like this with it just being characters writing. And just to let you know, bold writing is becks. Italics will be Jades, and normal was Becks mom. Anyway i hope you like it. If you have any questions feel free to ask. And PLEASE PLEASE review! They are always appreciated and mean a lot to me when i write. Hope you enjoyed. I'll try to update soon **

**~Kat**


	2. Chapter 2: I Need You

March 4th

**Kidnapped. Kidnapped! I just don't understand. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even think straight. The police won't tell us how they know, but they have no leads, no suspects, nothing. They have no way of getting my Jade back. I've been practically living in my R.V, i can't face my parents, i don't want to. I don't want their sympathy, after all it's not me that needs it, its Jade, and she wouldn't want it. I've talked to her parents only once since and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. They're lost.**

**Her dad hasn't said anything at all. He just sits by the phone all day waiting for news as tears streak down his face. Whether it's a ransom call, or a new lead, either would be helpful at this point.**

**Her mother's grief seems to be beyond tears. She spends all day in town putting up posters and asking people if they've seen her missing daughter.**

**Cat hasn't stopped crying. We sit side by side in class and try to listen to the lesson. Trying so hard to feel some interest in what the teacher is saying. I listen to her sniffle and try to hold back the tears that threaten to spill down her cheeks.**

"**Beck," she'd say. "Jade will come back right? She's not gone forever...is she?"**

"**Cat," I'd reply. "Cat, I don't know."**

**And then she would cry. I'd put my arm around her and pull her close. I try not to break down; Jade would want me to be strong for the child-like red-head. So I know I have to be. **

**Andre is taking it hard. He spends all of his time in the empty theatre, with his keyboard, but he never plays it. He rarely goes o class, and he almost never talks to me. I know he loves her. Jade knew it too, but she didn't feel the same way, so she said nothing hoping he would move on. We thought he did, but I guess we were wrong.**

**Robbie gave up Rex. He knew Jade hated the obnoxious puppet, and I think he thought that Jade would come back if Rex was gone. It's a stupid idea, Robbie knows it too. But he doesn't know what else to do. He spends a lot of time driving around up town. He says it's to help clear his head, but i think he's looking for Jade. We all are.**

**Tori has taken it the worst. I never realized how good of friends the 2 actually were. I guess beneath all of the hate there was a friendship there. And Tori is devastated now. She won't go to school, will hardly leave her house and refuses to talk to me. In fact she is completely ignoring me. I was actually kind of hurt by it until I went straight to her house and demanded she told me what I did wrong. After all in a time like this wasn't it important that we all had each other for support. But her answer was one I never expected.**

"**Beck don't you understand? Jade hated us hanging out. She hated me near you, or talking to you, or doing anything together. But she was always there to stop us and to tell me to back off. And now she's not and it feels unfair. Like I'm going behind her back. I know this is dumb, but it's the way it has to be."**

**I understood. I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner, and I'm glad Tori did.**

**And what is the worst part? I guess it's that one split second in the morning. That half a second in the morning. That half second that comes right after you wake up, and you forget everything. All you're thinking about is the sunlight streaming through the window and wishing you could sleep in longer and now have to go to school. And that's when it happens. You remember. And it's like the whole world crashes on top of you. Your heart stops, your breath catches in your throat and it feels like the weight of the planet is on your chest. Its... well, it's awful.**

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><p><span>March 5<span>th

**Still no news. Cat was over this afternoon. We skipped school and spent the day in my R.V watching Degrassi re-runs and eating BBQ Fritos. It's not the same though. There's no Jade yelling at her to shut up and actually pay attention to the show. No more whispered conversations of our evening plans. No more stealing kisses during commercial breaks or arguments over who got the last few chips in the bag. Without her everything feels wrong. We're incomplete.**

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><p><span>March 5<span>th

_I don't know where I am, my head is heavy and it's throbbing so painfully. I can't move either, well I can, but it just hurts so badly. My ankles are rubbed raw from the chains that link me to the wall. But I'm tough i can do this. I'm going to start with what I remember._

_My name is Jade West._

_I go to Hollywood arts school_

_I'm talented_

_My boyfriends name is Beck, he loves me_

_Beck... where is he? I remember walking home from his house. It was late. And then I heard voices. It was a man. He was driving his trucks slowly along side of me. Large, tall, with deep brown hair and a cold harsh voice. He was probably about 30._

"_aww pretty little girl walking home alone," he cooed at me. I said nothing, just kept walking._

"_Come on honey, you must be cold, come with me, we can go get a nice hot chocolate." Again i said nothing; i just sped up, walking as fast as I could._

"_No? Well you see I'm not one to take no for an answer little girl." He stopped the truck then and I ran. He chased me, I was fast but he was faster. If i could just grab my phone from my pocket, but it was hard to do when running. The next few minutes are all a blur. I remember him grabbing me. I think I tried to bite him; I certainly kicked and punched with all my might. But nothing worked. A cloth was being pressed to my face and I passed out immediately. _

_When I woke it was 2 days later according to my watch. My head was bleeding and most of my clothes had been ribbed and were soaked in blood. I could feel bruises and scars forming on my stomach, arms and back. Day after day I've been chained by my ankles to this wall in the dark dusty room. The floor is basically mud and the walls are made of stone. Figures a creep like this would have a dungeon in his basement. There's a small hole in the corner of the room about the size of a basketball that goes fairly deep down which I've been using as a toilet. Let me tell you it is NOT fun going in that thing. My captor brings me moldy bread and dusty water every night for dinner. I scrap off the mold and try to hold it down. The first 2 days I was un-successful, but I'm getting better at it now. It's been 2 weeks I think. 2 weeks of this horrible place. I don't know whether he plans on killing me, or torturing me or even using me for ransom. But I'm not an optimist. I know that either way I'm not going to last very long._

_I found this sack of papers yesterday to write on. This way if I don't get out and someone finds my body, they'll know my story. And if beck reads these, then he'll know how much if love him._

_And I need him._

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><p><strong>AN: well that's the end. Sorry for taking so long to update. I've been away on a trip for the last 2 weeks and i wrote this on the 8 hour flight coming home. Anyway, let me know what you think! PLEASE review and tell me what you liked or didn't, and if you have any ideas of something you'd like to see happen later in the story let me know. I'll update after i get a few reviews and as soon as i get the time. Hopefully it'll be very soon! **

**~Kat**


	3. Chapter 3: I'm Still Here

READ END NOTES! IMPORTANT!

Disclaimer: I've been totally forgetting to write this :S oops. Anyway, I own nothing. Just this computer. That's it.

Chapter 3

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><p><em><span>March 8<span>__th_

_Cold. Damp. Dark... Destroyed. HA! Not destroyed. I may be beaten and bloody, but I'm still here. I'm still me. Am I making any sense? No? WELL GOOD! I don't have to, this is my book, and I can write whatever I want. See, Jade is still here._

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><p><em><span>March 8<span>__th__ (much later)_

_I just re-read what I wrote earlier this morning, and even I was confused. I was a bit dazed, I blacked out right after. But that's normal, it happens almost every morning. Should I explain why? Should I tell you what he does to me every morning? Nahh you probably can't handle it... well too bad. If I have to live through it, you'll have to read about it. So get ready. This is what happened this morning._

_I woke up cramped, my legs chained uncomfortably to the wall, where they've been for the last 2 weeks. The skin around the chains was raw and bleeding slightly. I sighed and attempted to move the chains around so the bleeding areas would hopefully get some relief. The only problem was the whole ankle was bloody at this point. Giving up I stretched out my legs and arms, rubbing the sorest of my muscles. I ran my fingers through the tangled knots in my hair, and tried to gather it in a braid down my back. Instead of my colourful blue extensions, streaks of dirt and mud were plastered throughout my hair. I rubbed my eyes and choked back a sob that was forming in my throat. Ya even Jade West gets sad sometimes. I had just finished doing my "business" when I heard the footsteps. I tried desperately to squeeze myself into the opposite corner and find anything that may protect me from what I knew was coming, what came every morning. The door creaked open and a strip of light shone through the doorway, and then i saw his face. His disgustingly, perverted, freakish, ugly, lopsided...I think I'm getting off track. Anyway.._

"_Good morning sweetie," he sang mockingly to me. "You know this would be so much easier if you just told me your name. So I'll ask it again, what's your name beautiful?" He walked over closer and stroked my cheek and head with his disgusting hands._

_In response I spit in his eyes. _

_Growling in anger he wiped his eyes and punched me right across the face. I let out a small yelp of pain and turned back to him smiling broadly._

"_You hit like a girl," I shot back. I could feel the blood pounding in my eye and felt as it started to swell close. I silently cursed, knowing it would be painful for the next few days._

"_Is that so," he said evilly. This time his fist connected with my jaw. The pain shot up through my head and I felt the warm blood dripping out of my mouth. I prayed inwardly that none of my teeth had been knocked out. Grabbing me by my braid he dragged me across the room to the opposite corner. I dug my fingernails into my palms to keep from screaming out loud._

_I don't want to tell you what happens next, but I think I should. If I don't make it out of here alive, I want everyone to know what this sick, twisted kidnapper has done._

_He tied my hands to the wall so had no choice but to stand upright. And then he beat me. Punching every square inch that he could reach while I tried unsuccessfully to protect my vital organs. He even whipped me. Ya, i know, who keeps a whip these days? The same person who kidnaps girls just so he can beat them and listen to them scream, and has a dungeon in his basement. That guy does. _

_I guess the only good thing was that it only lasted about 20 minutes this morning. Usually it's longer. 30, 40, 50 minutes. He unchained me from the wall letting me fall to the ground hard and then he left, kicking me in the stomach on his way out. I should have been happy that the beating was over, but the only thing I could think of was why he had stopped so early. I could only worry that he was getting bored. What would he try next? What's going to become of me?_

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><p><em><span>March 9<span>__th- __(this entry is for Beck`s eyes ONLY!)_

_Beck I'm crying. Beck it hurts. I`m trying to be brave, I`m trying so hard. But it hurts so badly. Beck I`m worried for the first time. I`m worried I might not make it back. That I may never see YOU again. I could take all of this, the pain, the darkness, all of it, if only you were here with me. But I`m glad you`re not, I`d never want to see you hurt like this._

_I was thinking of us today. Do you remember the time I ate that bad chicken and got food poisoning? You told me it looked undercooked, but I ate it anyway. You took care of me the whole day, holding my hair back whenever I got sick and getting me whatever I asked for. Well more like demanded. Sometimes I wonder how you can even love me. I was never very nice, and never very giving. But I`m glad you do. _

_Beck there's something I want to tell you. Beck I'm dying. He's killing me. I wish I could see you one last time, kiss you once more. But I don't think I'm going to be able to. So I want you to know one thing. _

_Beck I love you. You're the one for me, you always have been. All those times I get jealous, it's just because I don't know what I would do without you. I hope you'll forgive me for not letting you drive me home. I don't know why I was so stubborn. I'm sorry._

_This isn't a goodbye letter. I'm not giving up. I will never stop trying to get back to you. Don't worry Beck, I'm strong, I love you, and I'll be coming back._

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><p><strong>March 9<strong>**th**

**I miss you. I want you back. I hope you're okay. Don't worry Jade, I will never stop trying to find you, I will get you back.**

_A/N_: so today is a no bus day and i got bored and decided to write this. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW PLEASE! There will be a new character diary in the next chapter that might appear occasionally throughout the story. It'll be either:

Cat, Tori, OR Sikowitz. So please vote on who you would like it to be i know this chapter was mostly Jade but i wanted to give you an idea of what was going on with her. I hope you enjoyed and I almost have the next chapter finished. Ill update after i get a few reviews and votes on the new character. Let me know and thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4: I Won't Give Up On Us

A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! Each one means a lot so thank you very very much! I know I just posted chapter 3 yesterday, but I had some free time and I finished this chapter earlier than expected, and I just couldn't wait to share it! Oh and the new character IS NOT in this chapter, they will be in the next one, to give you guys more time to vote on who you want it to be. (Either Cat, Tori or Sikowitz) So I'll stop talking now and let you read

Disclaimer: once again I own nothing. All this belongs to an evil man named Dan who broke up my beloved Bade! (But they shall live on in my heart!) Oh and Jason Mraz owns the song.

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><p><strong>March 11<strong>**th**

**You know sometimes I wonder whether life is actually worth living without Jade. Without her, our group of friends is broken. A lot of people thought she was the scissors, the thing that tore us apart, and caused all the fights and arguments. But she wasn't. Jade was the rock. She balanced us out, made us even. She never let anyone feel superior to another, never let anyone take charge. She was the rock our friendship survived on, and without our rock, our base, our friendship is falling.**

"**Robbie?" Cat asked tensely at lunch. "Can you pass the ketchup to me...please?" Robbie didn't respond, his eyes were glazed over and he was staring at a patch just over Cat's left shoulder.**

"**Dude!" yelled Andre, giving Robbie a hard punch in the shoulder as he spoke.**

"**Hey what was that for?" Robbie glared defensively.**

"**She asked you a question, next time answer her."**

"**Well clearly I didn't hear her or I would have."**

"**Guys it's okay, I can just grab it..." Cat tried to interject.**

"**Well maybe you should actually listen," Andre shot back completely ignoring Cat.**

"**Fine, why don't you listen this?" With that Robbie let loose a string of swear words and obscenities that would have made even Jade proud. Chills ran up and down my arms as my mouth fell open in shock. Cat burst into tears and buried her face in her arms as Andre sat looking completely dumbfounded. Even Tori looked up from the salad that she had been pushing around on her plate.**

"**I- I'm- I don't," Robbie stammered looking horrified at what he had said. "I'm sorry, I should go." With that he picked up his bags and left the table. Tori closed the lid on her un-touched salad and threw it in the garbage**

"**I should get going too,'' she whispered. I could see the tears forming in her eyes and knew she didn't want us to see her cry. Even Andre's eyes looked watery as he took off the opposite way that Tori and Robbie went leaving me to comfort the still sobbing Cat. As I rubbed the red-head's shoulder comfortingly, I understood why everyone had been so upset. It was because the absence had been noticed. If Jade was here she would have stopped the fight before it had happened. Probably done something completely Jade-like and squirted ketchup in the boy's eyes, before passing the bottle to her friend and telling her that maybe they used this to dye her hair seeing as it was the same colour.**

**I almost laughed out loud at that thought, and then quickly wiped the smile from my face. I couldn't be happy. Not when Jade wasn't here. With that I quickly left the table leaving Cat sitting alone. I didn't want to, but if I hadn't hurried, I felt for sure someone would have noticed the tears starting to splash down my cheeks.**

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><p><strong>March 12<strong>**th **

**This morning I drove 4 hours to the next city over and posted photos of Jade all around. Maybe someone there has seen her. I think my mom wants me to stop searching for Jade. It's been 3 weeks. I think people are giving up hope. But I'm not. And mom, I'm telling you this now, I NEVER will. As long as I love Jade, I will never give up.**

_**I won't give up on us**_

_**Even if the skies get rough**_

_**I'm giving you all my love**_

_**I'm still looking up**_

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><p><em><span>March 12<span>__th_

_I found it. My way out. It was easy, almost too easy. I can't believe it took me so long to notice._

"_Now little girl," he spoke venomously after he had finished beating me and I lay unable to move on the ground. I was slowly dripping in and out of consciousness, fighting to stay awake and not let him have the satisfaction of a knockout._

"_You be a good girl and stay in this room, we can't have you running away now can we?" grinning evilly he went back to the door and left walking up the creaky stairs. Spitting blood out of my mouth I glanced around the room. Balling up my fists I punched the ground with as much strength as I could muster and then fell to the ground where I laid until the pounding in my head had subsided enough so that I could think straight. I had to find a way out, that much was obvious. But how? The room looked pretty solid to me, hard stone floor, dirt walls...wait a minute. _Dirt floors! _Quickly I scrambled to my feet, ignoring the intense head rush that came with the sudden motion. I all but ran to the other side of the room that I usually avoid because of the cool draft of air that always seems to blow in. Crawling back down to my knees I used my hands to explore the base of the wall, looking for the hole I was sure was there. Sure enough when my hands felt that tiny gap at the very bottom ridge of the wall I almost squealed with glee. But I'm not Cat and I'm not Vega, so I didn't._

_In the opposite corner of the room sat a small pail which Fred (that's what I named my kidnapper. I think he kind of looks like a Fred) had given me when I had been puking up my food. He said the puke was making his "dungeon" (okay he called it a basement, but seriously, who does he think he's kidding?) smell bad. I reached down and pulled off one of my combat boots crossing my fingers as I did so. This had to work. With one strong arm movement I slammed the boot off the dirt floor and watched as the dirt loosened slightly. I did it again and again until I could pick up the dust in my hands. Grinning to myself I slipped the boot back on as I felt the pounding in my head start up again. I hid the bucket under the small rotted tarp I had been sleeping under and laid back down as the pounding got worse. Grinning to myself I had one more thought before I let the blackness overcome me and i fainted away._

_Jade West has a plan, and Jade West is getting out._

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><p><strong>March 12<strong>**th**** (later)**

**Someone has spotted Jade. There's been a sighting! Apparently an anonymous call was made this afternoon. The man or woman said they saw a girl fitting Jade's exact description in a house about 2 hours from here. The woman (or man) said she appeared very frightened and a stern looking man had came and pulled the blinds down as soon as soon as he noticed them glancing in. This is it, Jade could be found. Tomorrow morning she could be back. My mom told me not to get my hopes up, but I can't help it. I feel so sure it's her. Cat, Tori, Robbie and Andre are all here waiting with me. We're not saying anything to one another. Robbie is playing a game on his phone, Andre and Tori have been playing a game of solitaire against one another, but if don't think they're really paying attention seeing as neither one has noticed that they have forgotten to put the aces back in the deck before dealing. Cat has her ipod in her stuffed giraffe by her side and has been bouncing a rubber ball for the last half hour. I can tell everyone is getting annoyed, but no one's said anything. We're waiting. We're all waiting for the news that will make us cry. The only question is, will they be happy tears? Or the tears of broken hearts?**

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><p>AN: TADA! That's it! **PLEASE REVIEW!** It's also really awesome if you guys would please review before following or favouriting the story, I love hearing feedback! The more feedback the faster the next chapter is posted! And please DON'T FORGET TO VOTE for the next character journal you want to see. It can be

Cat, Tori or Sikowitz.

Anyway, let me know what you thought. Oh and quick question: are these chapters too long? Or do you want them shorter or longer?

~Kat


	5. Chapter 5: Where Am I?

_**A/N: I GOT MY COMPUTER BACK! Yayy this means I'll be able to update much faster and sooner. I got lucky with these last few chapters because we're just ending March Break so I haven't had any homework (yet) and my dad has been leaving his laptop home because he didn't need it for a while. Before that it was really hard to update. **_

_**So WOW thank you guys SO MUCH for your amazing and kind reviews. I took all your thoughts and ideas into consideration. And a special thanks to everyone who voted on which character they would like for the new journal. We have a winner! The new character's journal will be in normal font. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, keep reading and reviewing!**_

_**Disclaimer: Dan owns it all. Except the song, I'm pretty sure demi lovato owns that, or whoever wrote it or whatever.**_

_March 13__th_

_Did I ever mention that I hate dirt? No? Well that's odd. You'd think that with all of those "Stuff I Hate" videos I've done for the slap I would have mentioned dirt. But I guess seeing as I didn't, I'll mention it now. I HATE DIRT! _

_I've been digging non-stop for the last 6 hours. The dirt is now coating my hair so heavily you can't even see the usual black strands. The dirt is caked under my fingernails and welled up inside my ears. Even when I spit, all that comes out is a dark brown substance much like mud. My pasty skin is completely covered in a thick layer of the stuff and my clothes are filled. But as much as I hate it, I really don't have a choice. _

_The work is slow. With no materials besides my boots, small bucket and my own bare hands it's difficult. I knew it would take a long time and I was okay with that, but now I'm not. Fred didn't come down this morning. I waited for him. I sat in my corner waiting and listening for the thundering footsteps that would announce his arrival. But they never came. I waited all day in that little corner, only moving once to use the restroom. When at last the hand on my watch struck 10:00pm and I heard the deep rumbling snores from above I knew that the beating wasn't coming. Gingerly I climbed to my feet as my stomach gave a strained gurgle of discomfort. I hadn't been given any food today and I found myself wishing for even the moldy bread and dusty water he usually fed me._

"_Was this his new game," I thought to myself. "Just let me starve and leave me here to rot?" this realization brought new dread to my heart. Maybe I could have been strong enough to outlast his beatings, but even I couldn't go longer than the average human without eating._

_That's when I decided to put my plan into action. With no food the little energy I had would be gone within a day. I needed to start digging now. I needed to get the hardest soil out while I still could. And I needed to hurry. Just like the dying battery from the watch on my wrist, my time was ticking away slowly too. _

_And so I'm digging. And I'm not stopping until I'm free._

**March 15****th ****(2 days since last entry)**

**I'm done feeling. Excitement, happiness, sad, disappointment… I'm done. **

**It wasn't her.**

**March 16****th**

**I pushed away my full plate of supper tonight and didn't even glance at the tall glass filled to the brim with lemonade. My favourite. It doesn't matter I can't swallow it anyway. I just can't. I don't know how I'm supposed to explain this. You don't know, you just can't understand the feeling. **

**It was late at night, or maybe it was even early morning by that time, I'm not sure. Time didn't seem to matter at that point. I remember my mom coming in once suggesting we get some sleep. But the looks of dis-belief and the glares that were directed at her seemed to convey our un-said answers well. The silence in the R.V made the absence of the missing member of our group more pronounced. Seconds turned into minutes, which in turn, turned into hours. Still we waited. We didn't dare turn on the T.V scared of what we may find.**

**And then we heard it. The loud, hard knock on the door. Panicked glances were exchanged all around the room, as we held our breath as one. I stood up to open the door, noticing how Robbie had his arm around Cat to help sooth her as the poor girl was shaking uncontrollably. Even Tori was gripping Andre's hand hard. Seeing these things made me feel oddly alone, and the sadness of my missing girlfriend washed over me once again. Hands shaking I opened the latch to the door allowing the police officer to come in.**

**He looked around the room once taking in our anxious faces and gave a deep sigh.**

"**I'm sorry guys, but it wasn't her." He said solemnly. "The girl did fit the description we had on the flyers and even somewhat resembled Jade, but it wasn't her. The angry father had just pulled down the shades because he thought his neighbor had been trying to follow the girl as she walked home past her curfew. Don't give up hope yet. We'll keep looking." With another apologetic glance he left the R.V**

**I don't know how long we sat there in a stunned silence. Eventually Cat burst into tears and hurried out the door. Robbie followed quickly in suit mumbling a sentence that sounded much like,**

"**I'll bring her home, see you guys tomorrow maybe."**

**Tori laced up her sneakers and André handed her a Kleenex. Giving him a grateful attempt at a smile she wiped her eyes and followed him out the door, giving me a small pat on the back as she left.**

**As for me, I sat there the whole night. Never once moving. Never even thinking about going to sleep. That's the way my parents found me in the morning. Still sitting in the chair, staring blankly at my hands, trying not to feel anything. Nothing except determination. One way or another, I was getting her back.**

_March 16__th_

_3 days. It's been 3 days of digging and dirt. My hands are blistered and my eyes dry and itchy. Fred has only been down twice to throw down 2 bottles of water. Other than that I haven't seen him. I can hear him moving upstairs though, and more unfamiliar voices. He's planning something. I can feel it. I don't know what it is yet; all I know is that I don't want to be here to find out._

_The worst problem is my hunger. My stomach has long since stopped growling and now there's just a constant ache reminding me of my empty belly. The 2 water bottles have barely quenched my thirst but they're keeping me alive. I shiver a lot now. Keeping warm is nearly impossible what with being so food-deprived. I feel so much weaker too, holding this pen to write is nearly exhausting. But that's okay, because I'm done. The hole is now big enough for me to squeeze under the wall and outside. I can't see what's out there but I can see the sunlight shining faintly through during the day and I can feel the cold breeze. It feels so much colder than the usual weather in Hollywood, but I think it's just the fact that I myself can't keep warm. Tonight I will be going through it. Tonight I will finally be leaving this hell hole. And I'll go back home to my family, to my friends…. To Beck._

March 16th

Hi, this is Cat and this is my new diary. Wait that doesn't sound like me. I'll try again.

Hi, my name is Cat and this is… you know I've always wanted a pet unicorn, I think they'd be fun to play horseshoes with.

Ya that sounded more like me. Depression changes people. I always wondered how anyone could be depressed. The world is so beautiful and there are so many amazing things out there, how can you be sad? Now I know. I've been trying not to cry, trying to stay strong for Jade. I know she hated seeing me cry. But I can't do it. It's like an iron fist is clamped around my heart and its squeezing hard making it ache. For the first time in my life I feel alone.

Jade's absence is noticed at school too. Her locker still stays like it was. Decorated in perfectly sharpened scissors on a black background. No one dares touch it. After all no wants to see Jade's reaction when she comes back and notices all her scissors are gone. In fact people almost avoid the locker completely if they can. I know for a fact Richard Johnson who takes the exact same route as I do to our music history class has been heading the opposite way, taking him double the time as usual, just because the normal route passed straight by Jade's locker.

As for Sikowitz, I don't think he even knows what he's doing. He's going through 5 or 6 coconuts a day and even started wearing shoes. He hasn't moved jade's chair out of the way, so it sits there empty, day after day. His lesson plans have been getting more and more normal up to the point where he has actually given us worksheets for homework and graded them the next day. I'd be more worried for him if I hadn't had enough to worry about already. Because I haven't gotten to my main point. The whole point of me writing in this journal. The thing that pushed my poor confused brain over the edge.

Beck is gone.

_March 16__th__ (late at night)_

_It's late now. My half filed bottle of water is in the small bucket I've been using to dig. Besides what's on my body, they are the only possessions I have. The deep rumbling snores started an hour ago, it's almost time. I smiled to myself. Outside at last, fresh warm summer air. It's been almost 3 weeks. I have bruises and cuts that may never heal, and the ribs clearly outlined through the top of my stomach remind me that my struggle still isn't over yet. I glanced down at the other paper sitting in front of me and a huge smile formed on my face. On it, it read:_

_**You can take everything I have  
>You can break everything I am<br>Like I'm made of glass  
>Like I'm made of paper<br>Go on and try to tear me down  
>I will be rising from the ground<br>Like a skyscraper!**_

_Who knows, maybe Fred is a Demi fan? But he didn't break me, and I want him to know that._

_But it's late now, and I need to get going. I want to be home by sunrise. I want to see the look on Beck's face when I knock on the door of his R.V_

_With that image in my head I gathered all of my courage and walked over to the hole._

"_Wow am I cold," I thought to myself. Bending to my knees I shoved the bucket through and heard the "thunk" as it landed outside. Grinning satisfactory I began to crawl through the hole myself. It was slow work trying to maneuver my shoulders through the narrow opening. Then came me hips, they were easier but still tricky as now half of my body was in the hole. It was exhausting work. I felt like giving up, but the cool rush of air on my face kept me moving forward. After nearly half an hour I struggled free and collapsed on the ground outside. Breathing heavily I laid there for a moment, allowing myself to rest before I began on my way home._

_After a while I decided it was time I was on my way and I stood up slowly stretching out my sore muscles. It was then when I became aware of my wet back. Reaching behind, sure enough I felt the cold and wet sting my hand. Confused I turned to my legs which were also cold and wet. But I noticed something else as I looked down. Something I hadn't noticed right away from the darkness of the sky. A white powdery substance covered the ground and trees as a cold harsh wind nipped at my face bringing tears to my eyes. Was this snow? I took a handful of the stuff and brought it closer to my face. It was! My heart began to hammer at my chest as I glanced around hopelessly. As far as I knew there had never been snow in any cities or places even close to Hollywood._

_So where was I?_

_**A/N: whoa betcha didn't see that one coming now did ya? :P anyway this was probably my favourite chapter, I hope you guys like it too. PLEASE REVIEW! The more reviews the faster the next chapter is posted, so please do ;). And it's also really appreciated if you review before following or favouriting the story, but it's totally up to you **_

_**I take all advice and suggestions into consideration and I'm almost never offended, so if you have any questions or other things feel free to let me know. Hope you enjoyed!**_

_**~Kat**_


	6. Chapter 6: Hot on the Trail

_**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter! I know this took me a little while to write because of my horrible math class and me missing 1 week of school for a big swim competition…. but I think it was worth the wait. ;) The next chapter is also finished, so and will be posted after I reach 27 reviews! So if you want to read it right away you know what to do ; P this way I can make the necessary changes you guys wanted or things you don't like.**_

_**Disclaimer: you know I really wished I owned something, but life's a jerk sometimes like that and let Dan Schneider own it all. Sucks eh?**_

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><p><em><span>March 18<span>__th_

_The whole time I was stuck in that rotten dungeon, I imagined all the ways I would die. Would he kill me? Perhaps with a knife, or one hard blow to the temple. Would one day all of those beatings just become too much and my heart would stop? Would I lose too much blood? There was always the possibility of me starving to death or even dehydration. All those days I sat huddled in the corner thinking about my death I never even thought of freezing to death. It seemed stupid. How could anyone freeze to death in sunny California? The answer is easy: you can't. My only problem is, I'm not in California anymore, and freezing to death, Is definitely an option here._

_I can't remember the last time I was warm. But to be honest I can't remember a lot right now. The only thing I can think of is getting away, getting back home. Last night, right after I realized how very far away I was from my house, I started walking immediately. It was a fast walk at first, wanting to put as much distance between Fred and myself as possible. But soon, after 3 and a half weeks of being trapped in that small dungeon with almost no food, I had to stop. After that every step became a chore. It didn't help that the snow had started falling again. When I had first started walking it had been shallow, only up to about my ankles. Now it had reached halfway to my knees. And although I was grateful it would cover the footprints my boots left in the snow, it made each and every step nearly impossible._

_When at last 6 hours later I came across a deserted old barn I all but ran I, desperate to shield myself from some of the freezing wind that had chilled my entire body. That's where I am now. Sitting in the middle of the barn with a small, pathetic fire burning beside me. It's a disgrace to fires everywhere, but it's unthawed my hands enough for me to write and even warmed my toes considerably. What's even better is the woollen hat, riding gloves and jacket I've found. Anything that will keep me even the slightest bit warmer. I even found a bit of food. Its horse mix, with oats and dried bits of corn, but it's safe for humans to eat and I'm desperate._

_Ha, is this what it's come to? Sitting on a dirty floor, shaking from head to toe while eating horse food? It would be almost laughable if it wasn't for the pain. I took a sip of my water and wrapped myself up in the horse blanket I had found in one of the stables laying down beside my fire. Grateful that all of my limbs had been spared from frostbite, I tried taking deep breaths to help my body stop shaking. If I didn't control it soon, my heart could give out, and I did not come all this way just to stop now._

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><p><em><span>March 19<span>__th__ (early morning)_

_It's early. Much earlier than I would have woken up at home. My clock says it's 6:00am, but the sun is up and shining and I need to get moving. Fred will be coming downstairs in about 2 hours and I don't want to be anywhere close to the house when he finds out I'm gone. I was packing up my stuff when a thought occurred to me._

_Do they even miss me back home? Does Cat cry because I'm missing, or is she still the same annoying red-head we've all come to love. Is Robbie or Rex at all sad that I'm gone, or are they happy I'm not making fun of them anymore? Do Tori or Andre ever think about me, or are they glad they don't have to pretend to want me around? As for beck, is he happy I'm not around demanding things from him? Pushing these thoughts aside I gathered my stuff and left the barn. The snow had stopped but the wind was as strong as ever. I jammed the hat roughly on my head telling myself that of course everyone missed me and would be glad to have me back._

_I only wished I believe myself._

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><p><span>March 19<span>th

I went to visit Jade's family this morning. Beck's parents were over too, desperately asking if they had seen their son anywhere. I thought it was kind of weird Beck hadn't told them where he was going. One time my brother did that. He just packed up and left in the middle of the night. He went to join a circus. But he did come home eventually. Although that was more because he was scared of the elephants. Beck doesn't seem like the type of person to do something like that though, I think he's gone to look for Jade, especially since his truck and $10 000 dollars from his bank account are gone. But everyone else thinks he ran away, couldn't handle it anymore. Beck's stronger than that though.

You know I really hate writing in this thing. It doesn't sound like me journal. I sound depressed, crazy even. Jade would know what's wrong with me; Jade knew what was wrong with everyone, even the world. She said everyone is idiots and that's what's killing our planet. She's right you know.

I wonder what Robbie is doing today. It seems weird that at a time like this, I could fall in love. But I did. The other night when he drove me home, I sat sobbing in the front seat of his car. He didn't say anything to me the whole way to my house. He just kept his eyes on the road and rubbed my shoulder gently. When we reached my house I couldn't go in. it's not that I didn't want to, it's just I was crying too hard to unlock the door. Robbie gently took the key out of my hand and opened the door slowly. Picking me up in his arms he carried me to my room and tucked me into my bed. He looked so sad; I could see tears running down his face too. Catching his hand before he could leave I whispered in a shaky voice to him,

"Please stay with me, don't leave. Everyone always leaves me." It probably didn't make much sense but he crawled beside me none the less and pulled me close to him so that I was wrapped in his arms. I used my hands to wipe away the tears in his eyes. he gave an audible sigh. That's when he kissed me. I wasn't expecting it, but I wanted him to.

I slept un-settled for the rest of the night, waking up 3 times screaming and crying from horrible nightmares. But Robbie was always there to calm me. He'd tell me over and over that is was just a dream and rub my back until I fell asleep. He left in the morning when I woke up and after breakfast. Kissing me quickly he went out the door. I knew he wanted to stay, but he couldn't. Life has to go on, even when it seems impossible. Robbie had to visit his grandmother and I was heading to visit my brother in the new mental hospital he was transferred to after being "too much" for the previous hospital to handle. Life has to keep moving.

As I was driving I noticed a rainbow that appeared in the sky. I read a story that said when a rainbow appears, it means a lost person will be coming home. Maybe today it will be Jade.

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><p><strong>March 19<strong>**th**

**Let me just get this question out of the way right now. No I have not been kidnapped. I left on my own free will. I think I should explain a bit more.**

**The other night I was sitting at my house. The T.V was on but I wasn't really watching it when the phone rang. I answered it after the third or fourth ring, not really paying much attention the caller, assuming it was André or Cat again.**

"**Hello," I said dully.**

"**Listen and listen carefully. Is this Beck Oliver?" the voice question roughly. Sitting up a little straighter I answered back hesitantly.**

"**Yes"**

"**You put up the poster of that girl, Jade West, am I correct?"**

"**Yes," I said again, a little more confidently this time.**

"**Well what would you say, if I knew exactly where to find her? There is a little catch though. $10 000. You bring it here, straight to me. And I'll give you the girl. But no police. Listen to me carefully boy, if you get any police involved, I can assure you, that you will NEVER see your little girlfriend again. Is that clear?"**

"**Very," I said determinedly. "Just tell me where I can find her, and I'll bring the money." After he told me his address I hung up the phone and paced the room for about 20 minutes straight. Do I tell the police? I know they'd help, but the guy said not to. I don't want to put Jade's life on line.**

**Eventually I came to my decision. Packing a few things in a large duffel bag, I got the keys to my truck and left the house with the address to the kidnapper in my pocket. I stopped at the bank in town and withdrew $10 000. Leaving my bank account nearly empty. I didn't tell anyone where I was going, I just left.**

**The drive took nearly 32 hours. I only stopped twice to get something to eat and use the bathroom. I never stopped to sleep. How could I, knowing I could be just hours away from getting my girlfriend back. My heart hammered louder and harder the closer I drove to the kidnapper's house. We were nearly in Canada now, although it was still the U.S.**

**When I reached his house I could barely get the truck door open. Taking deep breaths to help calm myself down, I grabbed the sack of money and walked up the driveway. Talk about a shack eh? The house was disgusting. It sat all alone in the middle of a deep forest. The perfect place to hide a kid I thought to myself. I was just about to ring the doorbell when 2 things happened. Firstly I could hear loud angry shouts coming from inside and the sound of furniture being thrown. Cringing for poor Jade's sake I turned my head to the side of the house. Squinting slightly I could just make out the outlines of footprints leading away from the house. Walking around to the side I saw clearly a medium sized hole and I understood. Jade had been here, but she had escaped. And by looks of things, very recently too. Running back to my truck I threw the money in the back seat and sped off along the road in the same direction the tracks were going eager to get away from that house. I drove for almost an hour. The roads bended and swerved and often I had to get out to re-find Jade's footsteps again. **

**Darkness was starting to fall in when I came across a barn and I parked my truck beside it. The footprints had long since disappeared and now I was driving on instinct. It was getting late too. Even if Jade had been around this morning, she'd be long gone now. My last hope was maybe she had stopped here for a rest and decided to stay a while, out of the cold. Of course I knew she wouldn't be dumb enough to stay so close to her kidnapper, but it was worth a shot. Hiding the money beneath the seat of my truck and making sure all of the doors were locked I walked out and went inside the barn. I ran inside quickly as the wind was starting to pick up even more and it stung my eyes until they watered.**

**Walking inside I noticed right away that someone had been here very recently. My heart quickened as I looked around the barn. My eyes fell on a small tarp that lay beside one of the smallest fires I've ever seen. I bent down quickly beside it touching the small twigs and embers. They weren't hot, but they were still warm. Grinning happily I walked back out to my truck. Maybe Jade wasn't there now, but she had been. Filled with fresh determination I started the truck back up and began to drive again.**

**I was right on her trail.**

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><p><em><span>AN: well that's the end. Hope you liked the chapter; it was the longest one yet. PLEASE REVIEW! THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE POSTED WHEN I HIT 27 REVIEWS! That way I can edit the next one to include things you like reading about . Also it's really appreciated if you review before favouriting or following the story. You don't have to, but I'd really like it if you did. I hope you're enjoying the story. __**Did you guys like the random Cabbie, moment**__? Thanks for all you kind words and keep reading!_


	7. Chapter 7: JADE

_A/N: Okay I realize just posted a chapter yesterday, but I said I would post the next one as soon as I got 27 reviews. And wow you guys were awesome! It hasn't even been 24 hours and I already hit 27, so I'm being true to my word and posting this right away hope you enjoy, and please read the end notes, I want to clear up a few questions and things that were said._

SPECIAL THANKS TO: AuntieTana for her amazing idea which I did manage to use in here. So thank you so much!

ALSO A SPECIAL THANKS TO: kikudog6 for reviewing 5 out of 6 chapters. It's really appreciated and I'm glad you're enjoying the story

Disclaimer: I own nothing blah blah blah. You know every time I write this thing I just end up feeling really bad about myself. :/

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><p><strong>March 20<strong>**th**

**I drove around for hours last night. My headlights were bright enough to see through the trees, but eventually fatigue overtook me. I would have going, fought right through the sleep that threatened to claim me at any moment, but after 4 hours of driving I ended up right back at the barn again. The same place I had been before. I cursed loudly when I noticed it, slamming a fist on me steering wheel. I gave up then, knowing I would be no use to Jade or myself if I wasn't even awake enough to drive a stinking truck properly. Turning the truck off, I grabbed the blanket I kept in the back seat just in case and wrapped it around me tightly. Leaning back in my chair I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to come. But it didn't. I tossed and I turned, only thinking about Jade. I couldn't let myself think negative thoughts; the only thing keeping me going was the possibility that she was okay. Giving up on sleep, I opened the door and climbed out, my boots landing with a soft "thud" on the ground. Wrapping the blanket around myself even tighter I crept across the snow covered floor and went into the barn. Relighting the small attempt at a fire Jade had made I sat beside it once again. For the first time since she'd been kidnapped I felt at peace. Jade had been here, she had sat on this very ground, touched the small twigs that sat beside me. It was like we were almost connected again.**

**Feeding more twigs from the pile Jade had gathered into the small fire I stretched myself out so that I was comfortable again. Taking one last handful of the sticks I went to throw them into the fire before I fell asleep. But then I stopped. Glancing down at my hand I noticed a small piece of white folded paper mixed in with the brown. Frowning slightly I shook it free. There in the corner, written so small I had to squint, said the words **_Jade West._ **In my excitement I dropped the page to the ground. Fingers trembling I picked it up again and unravelled it. It was almost too good to be true.**

"**Could this really be from Jade?" I wondered. But there was no denying that the handwriting was definitely hers. I scanned the note quickly, not wanting to read it just yet. I just stared at the writing on the page, and even brought it close to my face, inhaling deeply, wishing it smelt like her. But all I could smell was the unpleasant barn smell. Do you know what barns smell like? Trust me, it is NOT good! When I couldn't stall any longer and curiosity over took me, I began to read it.**

_It's early. Much earlier than I would have woken up at home. My clock says it's 6:00am, but the sun is up and shining and I need to get moving. Fred will be coming downstairs in about 2 hours and I don't want to be anywhere close to the house when he finds out I'm gone. I was packing up my stuff when a thought occurred to me._

_Do they even miss me back home? Does Cat cry because I'm missing, or is she still the same annoying red-head we've all come to love. Is Robbie or Rex at all sad that I'm gone, or are they happy I'm not making fun of them anymore? Do Tori or Andre ever think about me, or are they glad they don't have to pretend to want me around? As for beck, is he happy I'm not around demanding things from him? Pushing these thoughts aside I gathered my stuff and left the barn. The snow had stopped but the wind was as strong as ever. I jammed the hat roughly on my head telling myself that of course everyone missed me and would be glad to have me back._

_I only wished I believed myself._

**I read the last line over and over not wanting it to end. I sat frozen, lost in my own thoughts for 20 minutes. It wasn't until I felt the wetness on my cheeks that I noticed I was crying. How could she not think we missed her? How could she not know how much had changed (and not for the better) after she had left? Our lives were a mess without her. How could she possibly think I was happy not to have her around?**

**I sat there for a long time; sleep was out of the question now. **

"**When was the last time I told her I loved her? It couldn't have been that long ago? Come on Beck think." But I couldn't remember. 3 months ago? Maybe 4? The tears streamed down my face faster now. How could I have done that to her? She was my girlfriend, my everything, why did I never tell her.**

"**Because it would have made you look weak," a small voice answered in the back of my head. I wanted to ignore the voice, tell it that it was wrong. But as it got louder and louder it was impossible to ignore. And it was true. I always wanted to seem tough, and cool. I mean, I made it clear that I loved Jade and that she was mine, (It was kind of obvious I thought, with all the time spent making out in the hallways) but I never actually told anyone that. No wonder she had thought we were glad she was gone. Everyone always assumed a tough girl like Jade didn't need love. But she did. And she does**

**And so Jade, when I find you, and I WILL find you, I promise to tell how much I love you every single day for the rest of my life. Even if one day we grown apart- which I hope will never happen- I will still call you every day and tell you that, because there is no one else for me. You're the one.**

**With that comforting thought in mind, I rolled over and fell asleep.**

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><p><strong>March 21<strong>**st**

**I woke up this morning early. The sun was just coming out, but it was enough light to let me see the ground. I walked back to my truck and was just about to climb in when I saw something peculiar. There were 4 sets of footprints leading TO the barn. I stopped and counted again. 4. Two of them were mine; they were the freshest, with only a thin layer of snow covering them. Another was Jade's. They were the hardest to spot and the oldest. But that left the other pair. A medium amount of snow covered them, allowing me to get a good look at the shoe print. The footprints would have come shortly after my first set by looks of things. The shoe was huge and definitely male. The only question was, who did it belong to?**

**The answer took no time at all. There was only 1 house within 200km of this place. It had to be the kidnapper's. Jade was in trouble. Sprinting back to my truck, I started it up and drove off fast. I had to find Jade, and I had to find her fast.**

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><p><em><span>March 21<span>__st_

_I never thought I would miss that barn. Or even the dungeon at that. But I honestly do. Perhaps I should explain more. ugh "perhaps." Now I'm starting to talk like Vega… maybe I am starting to lose it..._

_Oh and I lied, I'm not going to explain more. _

_awwwe I bet you're all disappointed. WELL GET OVER IT!_

_Okay enough of this. I'm tired alright. I couldn't sleep last night, I was so cold and food deprived that my body wouldn't relax. As well as I have officially went 1 month without a coffee. I think I have a right to be a little cranky today if I want to. So get off my back okay!_

_Oh my god I'm talking to a journal. I'm seriously losing it. No I'm not even kidding; I think I'm actually going crazy. Ha, who'd have ever thought Jade West would be the one that ends up all insane like in the movies? Actually now that I think of it, probably everyone._

_But no, it's not just the talking to my journal thing that makes me think I'm crazy. (Otherwise we would have had Cat tested more than once) it's this morning, I kept hearing things, it was my name I think. Someone, it sounded like a guy, was screaming it loudly. I got scared. What if it was Fred? I was just walking along, trying to keep as quiet as possible, when I tripped over a tree branch. Startled as I hit the ground hard, I let instinct take over and I shouted out _

"_OW!"_

_Clamping a hand over my mouth I waited. There was nothing. And then…_

"_Jade, Jade!"_

"_It's Fred, he's coming for me, he found me. No I can't go back there," I thought to myself. quickly and skilfully, I climbed up as high as I could go into a nearby tree and waited. Whoever it was walked right underneath me and I noticed with a sigh of relief that it wasn't Fred. At this time I was starting to lose consciousness. The cold and tiredness was finally becoming too much. But I didn't dare pass out until the coast was clear.2 minutes later I let out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding and let myself settle into the tree, fighting to stay consciousness until I had position myself safely in the branches. Right before I passed out, the image of the passerby swam before my eyes once more as I thought about him._

"_Wow he had great hair, and that was a nice coat. Same one as Beck has I think…..wait a minute. BECK!" but it was too late. I had already blacked out._

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><p><strong>March 22<strong>**nd**

**I spent all day yesterday looking for Jade. I drove for a while, but then spent a good 6 hours looking on foot in the thicker parts of the forest. I knew I had to hurry. What if Fred had found her already? I thought of turning back multiple times and checking to see if he had already captured her and brought her back to the house, but then I'd catch sight of Jade's footsteps, and feel hopeful again. There weren't many to be seen anymore. The large gusts of wind were filling in the holes that the shoes had made almost instantly and I knew I would haven't much longer until they were all gone completely. **

**It was getting close to night again when I heard it. It was a scuffling sound coming from a few hundred yards in the distance. After walking through these woods for multiple days I had grown used to the different noises the animals made. But this was different, because right after the scuffle came an angry**

"**OW!" It sounded quiet, but I definitely heard it.**

**Catching sight of another faint outline of a footprint in the snow, my heart hammered excitedly.**

"**Jade! Jade!" I screamed as loud as I could.**

"**Jadelyn West, JADE!" I walked and screamed for nearly another hour, but I never saw another footprint, and never heard another sound. I had thought I was so close.**

**I returned back to my truck, tired, cold and sore, but none of that mattered. It may seem like a sappy thing to say, but it was my heart that hurt the worst. Every time it seemed I would get my hopes up, only to have them crushed again. It was almost more than a person could take. My fist closed around Jade's letter in my pocket.**

"**No, if Jade can survive whatever that man did to her, then I can handle this."**

**I can do this.**

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><p><span>March 23<span>rd

_Dear sir or madam,_

_A candle light closure ceremony will be held March 25__th__ in honour and memory of Jadelyn West. The service will be held at the city park by the lake and will start at 9:00. We hope that you will be able to attend and help us celebrate the life of our daughter._

_Sincerely,_

_The West's_

I can't believe their giving up. That's what they're doing. They're accepting the fact that Jade is dead and they're trying to move on. But she's not dead. Do you hear me journal. SHE'S NOT DEAD! (I think writing in capital letters makes it look like I'm shouting. I hope I didn't hurt your ears journal

I know she's not dead, and I don't want to go to this service. Beck wouldn't have left if Jade was dead. He must know she's still alive.

My therapist says I'm in denial. She says it's perfectly normal for this to happen, but I'm not. I know Jade is out there. She's strong. Maybe not stronger than Beck, but she can handle herself. After all she's the only person I know that would pick a fight with her jail mate that's twice her size and weight and still not back down.

I'm not giving up on Jade and neither is Beck. Tori is refusing to go to the service too. See Jade, don't give up on yourself, and we're not giving up on you.

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><p><strong>AN: okay well that's the end. PLEASE REVIEW! And also please review before favourting or following. Again you don't have to, but I'd love it if you did.**

**And to clear up a few things. Firstly this story will be about 17 chapters long. It might have less it might have more. I'm not sure yet I guess we'll have to play it by ear.**

**Secondly, reading back on the last chapter I did say eh and ya a lot. It's just kind of the way I myself talk, and I guess it comes out in my writing. So I'm sorry if it's annoying **

**And once again a HUGE thanks to AuntieTana for giving me an amazing idea for this chapter. I actually re-wrote almost the whole chapter because of her, and it was extremely appreciated.**

**PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW and I hope you enjoyed the chapter the next one may be a bit dull. I don't have any major ideas for it yet, so if you have some let me know!**


	8. Chapter 8: Tomorrow

**A/N: okay, I'm just going to come right out and say it. I AM SO SO SORRY for the late update. I was aiming for last Saturday, but I re-wrote this chapter 4 times. I had a bad case of writers block so I decided to take a few days and plan out the next 10 chapters of the story and what I wanted to happen in each one. Then I had to re-write this one again to make it work with my future plans. I hope it was worth it and you all enjoy! Once again thank you SO MUCH for all of your reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but I just want to say… YAYYY WAY TO WIN THE KCA AWARD VICTORIOUS! TOTALLY DESERVED IT! :D**

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><p><em><span>March 23rd<span>_

_Do you see that I'm crazy? When I woke up after fainting it was 1 day later, and the sun was already setting fast. I felt stiff and cold. Sleeping on a tree branch gives you that same uncomfortable feeling you get after riding the bunny at the Gorilla club for too long. A feeling most people (cough, cough, TORI) never get to experience. Hey, what can I say, I'm a pro._

_I didn't forget anything that had happened before though, I remembered exactly what had taken place right up until I passed out. And as I replayed the events in my head it was as though someone had lit a fire under my seat. Climbing swiftly down the tree, I landed somewhat awkwardly at the base. I glanced around quickly out of old habit, making sure that no one had seen me stumble. But of course, there was no one around. I straightened my combat boots, tightening the laces and securing them tightly to my feet with fingers trembling from the cold. Standing back up I raised my arms high above my head and arched my back, trying desperately sooth some of the soreness. Giving up I looked around at the familiar scenery and a plan came to mind so quickly it was as though it had always been there. I was going to follow Beck's footprints. (Okay I never said it was a genius plan, but come on, I'm half-dead here) They would still be here since the wind had almost stopped completely and would no longer be filling in the holes. But as I looked around the ground once more, hoping to catch sight of the first mark indicating which direction my boyfriend was traveling, I saw nothing. No footprints. None. Not even the slightest hint of an outline._

"_What?" I whispered out loud. "No, he was here, I saw him. It had to be him…"_

_My voice trailed off as I got lost in my own thoughts. Could it be? Had I really been so desperate to see Beck that I hallucinated the whole thing? Impossible, but yet…it made sense. Beck wasn't here, and he had never been. In fact, how would he have even known where to find me? He wouldn't travel all this way just because. And I was forced to admit the truth to myself. I was forced to watch my one chance fly away without being able to grab onto it. My legs shook violently and collapsed under me, leaving me in a small, shivering heap on the ground. I don't know what hurt worse. Knowing that I had never actually seen my boyfriend, or that I was actually slowly going insane. This was it. The end._

"_NO," a voice commanded from the back of my head. "Get up and get moving. (Yes I'm seriously hearing voices in my head, it's literally that bad.) I looked down at my feet; they were bent awkwardly with the tops of my feet touching one another._

"_But I'm so tired," another voice came. (Seriously 2 voices? Remind me that if I ever do make it home to ask Cat what the number of the hospital is that her brother goes to.)_

"_Come on Jade, snap out of it, we have to get home," I commanded myself while smacking the side of my head sharply with my fist. And barely able to stand straight on my feet, I pushed myself up and I hobbled off._

_My whole original plan was thrown away. Garbage, complete and utter rubbish. There was no use searching for Beck, seeing as he was probably back in sunny Hollywood. Back at home, where the nearest coffee shop was only 10 minutes away maximum no matter where you are in the city. At the thought of coffee my stomach gave a great lurch and I groaned out in anger and discomfort. Come on, would it seriously trouble anyone to make a coffee shop out in the middle of the woods? I didn't think so. I'm just so hungry. I would honestly eat anything right now. Even Cat's brother's Christmas beef (although to be truthful, I'm pretty sure there is like NO beef at all in that stuff). I'm starving. Literally, no exaggeration, and you know how much I love to exaggerate. I haven't eaten in over 3 days and all I've had to drink is snow, and the drips off a few icicles I found hanging off a particularly large tree. _

_I've long since lost all feeling in my toes and I'm worried that I have frostbite. I know the only cure is to cut them off, and I'm telling you all right now, they had better not cut off any of my toes when I get back home. That is if I ever make it home._

_I tried to put the thought of food and frostbite out of my head, as it was just making me paranoid and the hunger unbearable. But I couldn't. Each step I took I found myself dreaming of pizza, shrimp, pasta, coffee, and yes, even food from the grub truck. Even that food (can you even really consider it food?) was appealing. _

_The air was so cold by now. Easily the coldest night it had been yet, even without the wind. I wanted to stop and rest, but I couldn't allow myself to. If I didn't keep moving and keep myself warm, I knew I would freeze to death by morning. Tucking my hands deeper into my sleeves and wincing as my cold fingertips brushed my arms I stuck my face into the collar of the riding coat, warming the tip of my very red nose wasn't much, but it was the best I could do right now. Just one step, and then another. And another, and another…_

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><p><strong>March 23<strong>**rd**

**There are footsteps. Not near my truck, no, much farther into the forest. But they have to be fairly new.**

**Yesterday was the windiest day of all. It started right after I returned to my truck. Right after hearing the "OW" in the woods. I was safe inside my truck but just listening to the wind rattle the pane of glass on my windows brought a sob to my throat. Jade was out there in this. She would be freezing. I let out a sigh and watched as the cloud made by my breath hung in the air. curling uncomfortably in the chair, I wrapped my arms around my knees and drifted off in an un-relaxed sleep. By the next morning the wind had died down almost impossibly fast. All of the footsteps made the previous day in the snow were completely gone, the wind having made wave like patterns across the ground. I groaned dejectedly, realizing any chance of Jade following the footsteps was hopeless.**

**I clenched my teeth and grimaced as I opened the truck door. The sudden cold traveled through me like wildfire and left Goosebumps on every surface. Realizing I didn't have much of a choice I slipped the ski mask I had brought with me over my head. I had decided against using it before, hoping Jade would see my hair and recognize me if I didn't see her first. And I was afraid she might think I was her kidnapper. But the cold that stung my eyes within a matter of seconds and turned the tops of my ears bright red made my decision for me. I'd have to wear it. I stuffed a few snacks and a bottle of water into my pockets and left for the woods once more. This time I went East. The same direction as yesterday. Because if it really was Jade yesterday, I might be able to catch up with her.**

**The walking was slow today. The wind had left piles of snow up past my thighs in some places, but barely up to my ankles in others. Try as I might I could never get used to the odd stepping pattern. It wasn't until past 4:00 that I saw the footsteps. And I was stupid. Thoughtless, foolish and well, just down right stupid. I realize I already said that but this stupidity deserves to be said twice, if not three times. I didn't think. When I saw the footprints, close to the same spot I had heard the "OW" yesterday I followed them. They lead me down to a darker part of the woods, the opposite way I had thought Jade would have travelled. But I put that thought behind me and continued on my way. The footsteps twisted and turned, not keeping to the paths, but heading through bushes and into denser areas of trees, it was as though Jade knew her way around this part of the forest. I pushed this thought out of the way too, thinking only of catching up to my girlfriend and carrying her home. And then never leaving her again.**

**Around 6:00 I heard rustling 100 meters ahead of me coming directly from the way the footsteps were leading. I stopped and listened. I could make out the sound again, but it was coming closer, the crunch of boots in the snow. Grinning broadly I waited. This was it; I was finally going to see my Jade. Excitedly I moved to fast and stumbled on a half-hidden tree root. Catching myself my foot landed perfectly next to the footprints. The grin left my face immediately, my heart hammered as I lifted up my shoe. There was my footprint right next to the other one, which were 3 sizes bigger. **

**Jade was 5 sizes smaller.**

**I tried to swallow but my throat had gone suddenly dry. The rustling was growing louder now and I suddenly realized how much danger I was in. quickly I tried to back up and hide in a particularly thick bush area. But I wasn't quick enough. The sounds suddenly stopped, and as I looked up I found myself face to face with a huge dark haired man. He was livid and looked as though he would stop at absolutely nothing to get what he wanted. And as I locked eyes with him I knew that this was Jade's kidnapper. And he would be my killer if I didn't get away soon. I turned away and sprinted fast as the man barreled after me. For a big guy he was quick, but my slight frame allowed me to duck in between the trees faster. I ran and ran but my pursuer never gave up. I ran until I had no choice to stop and then I threw up, but I continued to run as soon as I had finished. But still he was right behind me. My legs were tiring and soon I'd have to stop, but it was like Jade's kidnapper ran on hate. He showed no signs of tiring. I actually thought I may have had a chance of getting away though, and then my foot snagged on the end of a large tree branch. Flailing my arms in desperation I tried to remain on my feet, but my balance was too far off. My foot came down on the edge of the boot, rather than the gripped bottom, and I slipped on the patch of snow. Down I went. Tumbling head over heels, I summersaulted down a small hill landing hard on my back in the shallow ditch on the other side. The wind was knocked out of me on impact and for a second I saw stars. An eerie feeling of calm washed over me as I lay there trying to catch my breath. But I remembered Jade. I hopped up alarmingly fast. I had only laid down for a maximum of 5 seconds, but that was all it took. As I took a few steps to start running again, a hand shot out of nowhere and grabbed hold of my wrist, pulling me back to him. The sudden change of direction made me swerve and I knocked my forehead off the tree beside me. The rough hands yanked my face upwards meeting his own. Blood trickled from the very deep gash on my head (which was sure to leave a scar above my eyebrow) down into my eyes making it hard to see. But there was no mistaking those eyes. The harsh cold in them, and the hands that held me. Hands capable of murder. Yes this was definitely Jade's kidnapper. And now he had caught me.**

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><p><em><span>March 23<span>__rd_

_Another and another and another. I've drilled that into my head. I repeat it continuously, forcing myself to stay awake and moving as the temperature drops more and more by the minute. And people wonder why I live in California…Hello SUN? This whole being kidnapped and stranded in the woods thing wouldn't be nearly as bad if it was warm. In fact, I'd probably wear my bikini and get a nice tan…or more of burn in my case. But at least I'd be warm. In fact while I'm writing this, if I don't make it out of here alive, I want you all to know, I want to be cremated. That way I will forever be warm. No freaking joke. It's like Antarctica out here._

_You know how many times I've been hit in the face with a tree branch so far? 93. I now officially hate trees. So don't be expecting me to sign any "Save the Trees" petitions. Not that I would have anyway. For starters, the petitions are on PAPER. I swear people today are idiots. And for another thing, I now hate trees. _

_Oh my god I'm yelling at a tree._

_I'm really thinking I should stop soon. I can't see anything anymore. The night has completely set in, and the sky is cloudy so not even the moon is visible. I've stumbled over more twigs, branches and roots than I can count (oh look, another reason to hate trees). As stood back up for the umpteenth time my head smacked hard against a rock resting on my left. The pain shot through my head and blood traveled down to my chin and dripped onto the snow. It was a deep cut and would definitely leave a scar. But hey, what's one more? It was close to early morning when I fell again. I went to stand up but found my legs wouldn't move. They physically couldn't push me up anymore. I tried using my arms but I couldn't move them either. I had reached the point of utter physical exhaustion. My body was shutting down and refusing to go on. I couldn't get back up. I curled my knees to my chest running my hands along my arms hoping the friction would create some warmth. I went to reach out and grab the blanket but it was just out of reach, and I simply could not move to get it. Without the constant movement I was cooling down really fast. I began to shiver violently. My teeth chattered together loudly and my whole body shook. I didn't know if I would be able to survive sitting here until my body decided it was ready to move again. I laid my cheek against the asphalt as I curled into the fetal position trying to save any body heat I could._

_Wait a minute._

_ASPHALT!_

_I did a double take. It was! There were no paved surfaces in the woods. Glancing at the black ground once more I noticed lines in the middle. Dotted and yellow. It took my poor brain a few minutes to understand. This was a road. A road meant cars. And a car meant a way back home to Beck. But first I'd have to survive the night. Using every last drop if energy I could muster I reached out and grabbed the blanket wrapping it tightly around myself. I crawled my way into and extremely shallow ditch, allowing me some protection from an unexpected snowfall or wind storm. Tomorrow I would flag down a car, and I would go home, tomorrow. And while I'm at it, maybe the sun will come out too. (Beck loved Annie. Don't ask me why, it's one of the few things I will never understand about that boy.) And with that thought I fell asleep with a smile on my face. For the first time in a long time._

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><p><strong>AN: annnnd scene! :P I made this a bit longer to make up for not updating in a while. I'm sorry there's not a ton of action in the chapter. It was more of a filler to get the characters where they needed to go for the next chapter. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. PLEASE REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! And I'll try to update much sooner this time. That is all**

**~Kat**


	9. Chapter 9: Now That's More Like It

**A/N: hey guys. Sorry about the delay in updating. I've had this written out for a while, but with my triathlon training and piano recital I haven't had ANY time to post it. I also didn't get many reviews on the last chapter. I hope it was just because it wasn't very interesting and not because you guys are losing interest in the story. :S I hope you like this one better.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. And I will continue to own none of this, possibly forever.**

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><p><span>March 25<span>th.

Why do things have to change? All my life I've struggled to find out who I really was. My brother was the insane one, Jade was the mean one with a wicked voice and Tori was the underdog that would make it big. Andre had the insane talent for music and Beck had the looks and the acting skills. Robbie was the qwerky nerd with a knack for guitar, Sinjin the creep and Trina the un-talented desperate one. But who was I? It was Jade who figured it out. She was over at my house one summer before grade 7.

"Jade," I asked her. "Who am I?"

"Cat, what kind of question is that? Your obviously Cat."

"That's not what I meant. What do I have about me that's special?" she looked at me thoughtfully and put down the shovel she had been using to dig a hole. (Don't ask me what she planned on burying there; I was just hoping it wasn't me.)

"You're the one everyone likes. The happy one. That person that brightens everyone's mood just by being around. You're Cat." She went back to digging her hole while I stood there thinking her words over carefully. She was right of course, Jade's always right. Even when she's wrong, she's right. I ran over to her and wrapped my arms around her tightly.

"Thank you Jadey, that's exactly who I am." I smiled brightly glad she was actually letting me hug her for once.

"You're welcome… now get off me or I'll shove you into this hole and make sure no one ever finds you. Then you'll be the missing one." I knew better than to take her completely serious but still I backed away. Sure Jade was my best friend, but she did slightly terrify me.

Now who would have ever thought that Jade would be the missing one now? And if you happen to glance up top, back to the underlined date, you might notice something. Today is March 25th, the candlelight ceremony for Jade. She won't be there of course; I wish I knew where she'd be at. It's not until much later tonight, but I really don't want to go. Jadey is still out there, she has to be. I don't understand why they are doing this; it's almost as if they want her to be dead so that they can just move on.

Oh and diary, Robbie and I had a fight. It was awful; I've never fought with anyone like this before. He told me I needed to come to the ceremony for Jade, and I told him, just as I told everyone else, that I refused. He yelled at me then. I was so scared, Robbie isn't the violent type but his words hurt me worse than the hardest punch he could have thrown. He doesn't understand. I love Jade, but I can't go. He said he'll be here to pick me up at 8:30 and whether I'm ready or not, I'll be going.

It's 6:30 now. I'm wearing my bright pink dress that reaches just past my knees. My purse sits beside me full of Kleenex's and a photo of Jade and I when we were little. Jade's hair is braided halfway down her back and her freckles are clearly visible across her nose with one of her teeth missing. As for myself, my brown hair is pulled high into pig tails and the strap of my overalls is hanging off my shoulder. We look ridiculous, and Jade tried to make me throw the picture away. But the thing I love most about the picture is how happy we look. Jade's eyes are half closed with her mouth open wide in mid-laugh about a joke long-forgotten. My arm is around her and my face buried into her shoulder as I held my stomach trying to stand up right. I can't remember who took this picture, but it's not important. It's the Jade I love captured perfectly, the one and the only one I ever want to remember.

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><p><em><span>March 25<span>__th_

_If I lay here  
>If I just lay here<br>Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_Let's waste time  
>Chasing cars<br>Around our heads_

_I really wish I could waste some time chasing cars, but there aren't any. Just my luck, I come across possibly the only road in all of America where no cars EVER drive! I've stayed awake the last 38 hours waiting and watching for any sign of a passerby. There have only been 2 so far, and neither would stop for me. *insert swearing here*. Beck told me to stop swearing so much, so I'll write that just for you Beck, maybe you'll actually be proud of me. When I woke up this morning I was afraid I'd be dead. Wait that doesn't make any sense. Let me try again, things are going fuzzy. I wasn't sure when I fell asleep last night if I would still be alive in the morning. There that sounds a little better._

_I have a question. Are there usually zebra's in the forest? Ya I didn't think so either. But there is one up ahead. He's looking right at me; I can see his stripes, odd place for a zebra to be really. I think a whole zoo might have escaped actually. There's a peacock standing beside him. Wow it's colourful. Cat would really like one of the feathers, so I think I'll grab one for her. She won't mind if there's a bit of blood on it. Cat likes pizza too; maybe I can find a pizza tree._

_The zebra is gone, and so is the peacock, that's a shame, Cat would have really loved a feather too._

_OH MY GOD! What's happening to me? There's no such thing as a pizza tree, there are no zebra's in this forest. I can't take this anymore. God, Beck I need you, what don't you get about that. I can't do this. Not without you. I always thought I was strong, tough enough to handle anything. But I'm not, you're what makes me strong, you're the reason I keep going. Without you there is no point. I'm getting sappy here, but for once I don't care. For once I'll break down my walls, just to tell you how much I love you. I'm tired of this. I'm just so tired Beck. I don't want to do this anymore, I CAN'T do it anymore. I'm crying now. Why aren't you here to wipe away my tears? You told me you'd always be here to do that. You said you'd never let anyone hurt me. He hurt me. Really bad, he might have killed me. I know I can't blame this on you. You tried SO hard to drive me home that night. Why didn't I listen to you? I was stubborn, a complete idiot. You would have kept me safe._

_You know I always wanted to marry you. People always assumed we never would. That I would refuse, or get pregnant with some other guys baby. You know I never liked it that people thought I was a slut. You know I'm a virgin, not by choice of course. Only because you didn't want to have sex until we were either engaged or married. I was offended by that at first, but your reasons were nothing but out of love for me, so I pretended like I wasn't flattered._

_(I was)_

_If I don't make it out of here, I'll never get to do all those things with you. Marry you, share our first time together, and have cute chubby children. I know you always wanted kids, I told you that I didn't, but secretly, I do. I hope they look like you though, big, brown eyes and gorgeous hair. I had hoped they'd love to sing and act just like us. We'd have to keep them out of the spotlight, because of course by then, we'll be famous._

_I had dreams Beck. Dreams for us. (Wow I am REALLY turning into a sap right now aren't I? Kind of like you. Sorry I had to throw that in)_

_Beck I think I see a car. I'm not sure if I'm hallucinating it though. I've seen so many weird things today I can barely tell what's real and what's fake anymore. But I think this one is real. (I'm feeling one of Cat's girly jump and screech things she does when she's happy coming on. Too bad I don't have the energy to do it. That was sarcasm in case you couldn't tell) it is real Beck, and it's pulled over on the side of the road. I wonder why. Oh, ew the little boy is puking. Reminds me of my little brother. I actually kind of miss him. REPEAT THIS TO NO ONE OR YOU SHALL SUFFER! The father looks mean, hey it reminds me of my family once again! Weird. I'm not going to take the chance of them saying no. I don't have any time left. I'll sneak in the trunk; they'll never even know I'm in there. I don't even care where they take me, as long as it's far away from here. I can figure out what to do from there. Here I go. Here's my way out. Now that's more like it._

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><p><strong>March 25<strong>**th**

**Fred had me in a death grip. There was no escaping. He was here to kill, he made that very clear. My knees shook and I thought about my beloved Jade. I hoped she would get far away from this evil oaf. Yes, I just called him an oaf. Jade taught me that word, I never thought it was very nice, but it describes this guy down to a Tee. He raised a fist to my temple. One hard punch from this guy and I'd be dead in a matter of seconds. But then a large crashing sound came from the bushes behind me. In suspicion he forgot about me and turned to the tree, probably thinking it was Jade. I thought it was too, and quickly racked my brain for any way of being able to distract him from her, allowing her enough time to escape. But it wasn't Jade, it was a deer. Graceful and beautiful it cantered into the opening and froze, seeing us for the first time. I took off running then, and in the second it took for the kidnapper to regain his focus, I was gone. Sprinting faster than I had ever dared to run before. Trees and branches leaped out at me from every which way, but I was careful this time and made sure not to fall. He was falling further behind. We were headed into the thickest parts if the woods now and a man his size wasn't able to fit through the small gaps I was able to. At last I made it to my truck. I clicked the button wildly as the doors unlocked and I threw myself in. I didn't have any time to spare. I thrust the keys into the starter and gunned the engine. My tires spun at first on the slippery snow, but soon managed to grip the ground and I took off speeding along the large pathway and onto a road several miles ahead. It wasn't until half hour later when I realized I still had a death grip on the steering wheel and I was shaking uncontrollably. I pulled over for a second to regain my composure. It was obvious that I couldn't go back. The guy was looking for me now as well, and sooner or later he'd find me. Besides I hadn't seen any of Jade's footprints for 2 days now and I had almost covered the entire forest. She was almost certainly gone. It wasn't safe there anymore. I'd go home and search for Jade tonight. I'd be in some serious trouble when I got home, but what's the worst they could do. Ground me? Without Jade I don't go anywhere anyway. This entry is short because I have another 10 hours of driving ahead of me before I'm back in California. I don't have any time to waste if I want to be back by morning to tell everyone that Jade really is alive. I always knew she was. I drove off with new hope in my heart. Now that's more like it.**

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><p><span>March 25<span>th (late at night)

Robbie picked me up. 8:30 sharp just like he said I was. I didn't argue this time. I had so many arguments planned out too, but I didn't feel like fighting with him. I just wanted him to wrap his arms around me and tell me everything would be okay. I know he'd be lying, but somehow, when it comes from him, I believe him. It was dark when we reached the park. There were a lot of people there, which was surprising. Jade didn't have a lot of friends. Not that she cared. When I asked her before she said she didn't like them either, so why should she care if they liked her? If it was me I would care.

Every person in the park was holding a candle. Cinnamon scented I think. Jade hated cinnamon, her favourite had always been vanilla. Jade's mother came over and handed us candles, I smiled and said thanks, but threw it in the bushes when she had walked away. I pulled my own candle out of my purse. Black and vanilla scented. Jade would have preferred this. Not that I think she's dead no, but if Jade knew we were holding this kind of ceremony for her, she'd have wanted us to do it the right way. Robbie gave my hand a squeeze and pulled a candle identical to mine from his coat pocket.

"She'd like these better," he whispered. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and let him take my hand in his. Tori and Andre were there too. We stood in a group not really talking or making any eye contact. Tori and Andre also had the black candles which I pointed out hoping to break the awkward silence. Tori let out a cry and started sobbing into Andre's shoulder. I was startled.

"Tori, it's... It's alright." I said timidly.

"No Cat, it's not. She's really gone. This is it" I didn't understand. This was Tori. The girl who always told me it would be alright. The one who said she'd never give up hope. And André, he had always thought Jade was the strongest person ever, why does he suddenly have so little faith in her?

"Tori, Jade is fine. They'll find her soon, she's not…" my voice faltered and I was unable to say the rest.

"NO CAT. Why don't you understand, why are you so stupid sometimes. SHE'S DEAD! And she's not coming back." I stumbled back as though I had just been slapped in the face. Tori had her mouth open in horror. "Oh Cat, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I walked backwards shaking my head violently.

"No, you're wrong, WRONG!" I pushed passed Tori, and struggled out of Robbie's grip. I ran and ran to the other side of the incredibly large park. I stopped gasping for breath and clutching at a stich in my side. I looked up and found myself in front of the largest tree in the park. I used to love climbing it with Jade. She always went to the very top, but I was always too scared. Slipping off my shoes I started to climb. Hand over foot, carefully avoiding the skinnier, weaker branches. I climbed and climbed never looking down, only up. Once my foot slipped and I found myself dangling by one arm 30 feet in the air. Unfazed, however, I just swung my legs over to another branch and continued on my way. At last I ran out of branches above me. I sat down on a larger one swinging my legs and looking at the ground nearly 50 feet below. I wasn't scared this time though. I looked far off into the distance. Little lights were starting to pop up one by one. The lighting ceremony had started. 10 minutes later all of the candles had been lit and glowed brightly below. There was a speaker talking. I didn't know who it was, but he knew nothing about Jade. He didn't know that she watched Lion King Everyday with me when I had the chicken pox in grade3. I had asked her why she wasn't afraid of catching them. She told me germs were afraid of her. The next week Jade was covered in spots, she wouldn't listen to her mother telling her not to scratch them though, so some left tiny scars on her body. I went over to her house and we watched Bug's Life until she was better. Jade liked the grasshoppers and how they always scared the ants. But she always held my hand whenever they came on the screen because she knew I was terrified of them. Jade was a great friend. She wasn't always patient, and she could be cruel, but in the end she always had your back.

The lights were starting to go out one by one now. I could see them disappearing in the night. A tear slipped down my cheek but I brushed it away impatiently. I wrapped my cold arms around the tree trunk and watched the lights go out. All except one that is. It was growing brighter, closer. At last the light was at the base of the tree.

"Cat." It was Robbie. "Please come down."

"I don't think I can, I think I might be stuck." I realized it was true. But more truthfully, I just didn't want to. There were a lot of scuffling sounds and the tree shook violently once or twice, but at last Robbie scrambled up beside me, breathing heavily.

"Cat, I'm really sorry. And so is Tori. She and Andre have given up now. But don't worry. You, me and Beck, we still believe. Jade is stronger than they give her credit for." He pulled my candle out of my hand, which I hadn't realized until now I had been holding. How had I managed to climb the tree with this? "Jade's light will keep on going for us." He touched his candle to mine lighting them both. We sat in silence; me snuggled up against him in the warm night air. All night we stayed in that tree. Sometimes laughing and talking, other times kissing, and sometimes falling into silence, lost in our own thoughts. We held our candles in our laps watching the light burn as bright as the stars. We watched Jade's light burn on and on, not allowing it to go out. My hand found Robbie's eventually and I sighed contently. Now that's more like it.

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><p><strong>AN: well that's it. This chapter was a little longer than normal, but I liked it which rarely happens. ****PLEASE REVIEW****!**** The more updates I get the faster I'll update. (I'm aiming for Saturday night, but that will depend on how homework goes and the amount of feedback I get) ****please also review before following or favouriting ****again you don't have to, it just really helps to write the next chapter when I know what you guys liked or didn't****. Well that's all I have to say. Keep reading! **

**LONG LIVE BADE!**

~Kat


	10. Chapter 10: Chasing Cars

**A/N: So do you all hate me or what? I'm so sorry I haven't updated in over like 2 months:/ school and swimming and work have kept me away from my computer for a while not to mention the worst case of writer's block ever, but I'm back, and its summer holidays, so you can expect updates much quicker (you may want to re-read the last few chapters in case you forget what's been going on ) . I just want to clear up a few questions before I begin the story:**

**1. - firstly, Fred unchained Jade from the wall when he beat her the last time and never re-chained her, that's why she didn't have to worry about them when escaping. I completely forgot to mention that in there.**

**2- thanks to the person who pointed this out. Looking back I realize that Beck did call the kidnapper Fred. THAT WAS A COMPLETE MISTAKE! I've done that a couple of times so far, but have usually managed to catch them when editing, but I must have missed one. I'll have to read more carefully from now on, you guys have sharp eyes ;)**

**3- Lastly, yes the truck is Beck's truck. I had always visioned it as being the red-pick up that was seen in "Jade Gets Crushed" where Beck and Jade we're sitting in the back while Andre sings 365 days. **

**So that's it. Thanks for pointing these things out: "**_**Just Saying**_** "**

**And if anyone has any more questions, please feel more than free to ask. I'll try to answer as best as I can!**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: i own nothing..except for Alice and her story. that's all mine :P but unfortunatly thats not famous enough to be on a tv show like all of the other characters that Dan has created... wow now i just really made myself fell unimportant :(<strong>

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><p><em><span>March 26<span>__th_

_I don't remember what the sun looks like. I remember the cartoon drawings I've seen in colouring books, but not the actual sun. I don't remember how it feels either. Was it more of a warm glow? Or was it a searing, burning feeling. Is it orange or yellow? And why do I even care?_

_I've been trapped in this moving box of death for nearly 24 hours. (Also known as a trunk). I've slept most of the way so far, and have accidently slept through every stop the family has made so far. At least I think I'm sleeping. It's weird though, because you know how when you wake up you usually feel refreshed and energized? I don't. In fact I feel more tired, each sleep seems to become longer and longer and I'm starting to see spots in my eyes whenever I am awake. I always wondered what dying feels like, I guess this is it. But I'm not dead yet, just heading down that road. Well that last sentence was completely stupid, just ignore it. Pretend it was never there. Just like everyone back home is probably pretending I was never there…_

_Oh look there I go, being all poor me and chiz, gosh I sound like Vega don't I? Ugh, my worst nightmare is literally coming to life. No not the part about me practically suffocating to death in this infernal vehicle, no the part about me turning into Tori. Literally how can things get much worse than that! I need to take my mind off things like that. I'll think about something different… like Cat, when we were little kids. Why not? It's not like I have anything better to do._

_I'm not exactly sure as to how Cat and I became friends. We lived down the road from each other for quite some time but we never really spoke. I didn't exactly get along with the other kids very well, so my mom kept me inside a lot. Something about "not being allowed to bite the other children Jadelyn" but I did anyway. I always got into trouble. In fact I got kicked out of every summer my mom ever attempted to send me to. I never lasted more than a day. Eventually, after about 20 different summer camps and programs my mom gave up. It didn't really matter though; she was 9 months pregnant with my brother at this point and just decided to start her maternity leave a bit early. But she was uncomfortable, and very irritable, and I was a very annoying child, I'm not going to lie, so she never let me stay in the house anymore. And that's when I met Cat. I was only probably only about 7 or 8 at the time, so I don't remember exactly HOW I met her. All I know is that she bothered me, but I right away I felt like her protector. Cat was so much smaller and fragile. I had learned early on in life when my dad had walked out our front door what disappointment felt like. But Cat had never had to experience that kind of heartache, and as much as I didn't want to, I had to be the one to protect that and keep her heart whole._

_Wow even at a young age Jade West proved herself to be a sap. Whoppa dee da doo. Anyway from then on Cat and I became a sort of "friends." I knew she was somewhat scared of me, but at the same time I was the one she came to for help or advice or to beat up the 2 eight graders that made fun of her pigtails at the park. (I got grounded for 2 weeks after that, but it was worth it when I saw the boys black eye the next day when my mom took me back to apologize)_

_I want to keep writing more memories about Cat, it's kind of fun thinking about my childhood, back when things were so much simpler. It wasn't perfect by any means, and there was no Beck in the picture, but I did have fun. More fun than I am certainly having now… wait! Shhhhhh can you hear that? Oh for crying out loud of course you can't you're a stupid piece of paper! I swear I'm losing it more and more by the minute. But no, the car has stopped. This is my chance to get out of this coffin! I'm going to get out, I don't know what I'll see, but I need to find water and food, and I need to find it fast. It almost sounds like, like a gas station! Perfect! Here goes….well everything._

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><p><strong>March 26<strong>**th**

**I turned off the engine and leaned back far in my seat, raising my arms above my head and stretching out my lower back. I'd been driving all morning and most of the afternoon and I'm not even halfway home. I would have kept going but my empty stomach and even emptier gas tank disagreed. Sighing deeply I opened the door and stepped out of the drunk landing with a soft thud. The young girl next to me turned and looked at me smiling brightly and giving me a cute wave. Normally I'd wave back and possibly even say hi, but not this time. I gave her a polite nod, then turned the complete opposite way and started to fill up the tank with gas. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a piece of black hair whip around the corner and saw the heel of a black combat boot quickly slip out of sight. My heart hammered and I forgot all about the gas and raced after the figure, my shoes making loud thuds on the pavement. But as I rounded the corner, no one was there. Only a car stood alone, the family inside stocking up on snacks. Out of habit I glanced at the licence plate. California. They had a long drive ahead of them as well. Dejectedly I turned back to the truck. With a sinking feeling in my stomach I remembered I had left the gas pump still in my truck. Running now, I reached my truck only to find that the pump had been hung back up and the bill had been paid. Looking around confused, my eye caught the girl who had waved at me before. She held a bag of chips, 1 pack of oreos, a chicken sandwich and 2 water bottles all in a large box.**

"**You're Beck Oliver aren't you?" she asked politely. She wasn't trying to flirt I now realized; she was simply just being friendly.**

"**Yes," I answered back, unsure of what was happening right now. "Sorry but do I know you?"**

**She smiled again. "No, but I've seen you're posters up in the California area, I live there as well, and I found your slap page online so that I could keep track of whether you ever found your girlfriend. I'm guessing no luck?" her eyes saddened at the expression on my face when she asked this.**

"**Well don't give up. She's out there; my brother was kidnapped 2 years ago. We found him last month. He was barely alive, but he's okay now. If we had stopped searching we may have never found him and got him back. So don't give up as long as there is still hope okay?" she shot me another smile and handed me the box full of food.**

"**I can't take this…" I started, but she cut me off almost right away. **

"**Yes you can, now go. Go find Jade. And here's my cell number, my names Alice by the way, please let me know when you do find her."**

"**Thanks, but just 1 thing, if you don't mind me asking. Why are you so interested in rescuing Jade? I mean hundreds of children and people must go missing every day, why care so much about Jade if you've never even met her before?" **

**She stared at me for a minute. Her expression never changed, but a small tear fell down her eye.**

"**We never found my brother's kidnapper. He was gone by the time we found him. But my brother was kidnapped on the same street Jade was. We found him 1 week before Jade went missing. It was almost the exact same scenario. I think… I think my brother's kidnapper may have the same guy that kidnapped Jade."**

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><p><em><span>March 26<span>__th_

_Here we go again. A new car, same stupid, squishy trunk. As soon as I heard the family get out of their car and leave I counted to 10 then opened the trunk as hopped out, shielding my eyes from the sun. I was right we were in a gas station. Quickly trying to take in my surroundings I noticed the convenience store in front of me. Mouth-watering, I all but ran to the door. As I went to open it I noticed a large bald head standing in the line. I could only see him from the back, but my terror stricken body acted on its own accord before I had time to process what was going on. I ran as fast I could, throwing myself around the corner. Fortunalty the gas station was very full, meaning a lot of cars and rides to choose from. There was a small white car and a large red truck on the other side of the wall that would be good to hide I, but that would mean having to walk in front of the store again and possibly expose myself to Fred. A chance that I couldn't afford to take. My heart hammered as I heard loud footsteps approaching the corner of the store quickly. What if Fred had seen me? Without thought, I hopped into the only car nearby that had a California license plate. And slammed the trunk lid down. I waited silently holding my breath and praying inwardly._

"_Please don't let him find me, don't let him take me back. Please. Please. PLEASE!" after a minute I heard the footsteps retreat and I allowed myself to breathe again. That had been a close one. Not long after the family returned to their car. I gently turned myself onto my side in an impossible attempt to get comfortable. I hadn't been able to get food or water. I could go another day or 2 without food if I had to, but I was running out of time for water. I only had another day left. I hope that the ride to California wouldn't take too long._

_Once again I felt my eyelids get heavy. I tried so hard to keep them open, but it was no use. The physical activity back at the gas station had been too much on weakened and battered body. (Whatever, I never really like P.E anyway. Even though I didn't sweat, something about running around in circles or throwing balls into nets never really appealed to me). its getting really hard to stay awake now. Harder than usual. I wonder what it would be like for the family if they just opened their trunk one day and found my dead body in it. Ha, betcha that would make for some intense questioning from the police. The mom would probably be all like "honey, what's that awful smell coming from the trunk?" and he would reply "I don't know dearest, let me just go check." And then they would find me. Honestly how good of a horror film would that make? But I think I'm going to go to sleep now, I only hope that I wake up. _

_Just in case I don't. Beck I love you. I don't say it enough, but I do. I wanted to marry you someday Beck, I don't know if you felt the same way, but I like to think you did. I liked the way you always made me sit with you and watch degrassi, even though you know I hate that show. And I liked how afterwards you would watch some type of weird medical disease show with me, even though half the time you ended up hurling in the bathroom. I know you tried to hide it from me, but I heard you. That's why I stopped making you watch it. But you insisted on it anyway, just to make me happy. I love you Beck Oliver._

_Cat be strong. Don't cry. I may not be there to beat up any bullies for you anymore, but maybe I can come back as a ghost and haunt them, just for you kitty cat, okay?_

_Andre don't give up your music. You're going to go far, if anyone is going to make it, it'll be you. I love you Andre, but as a brother. Although I did love the song you wrote for me-365 days. It was beautiful, so thanks. It made me feel special, any girl would be lucky to have you. personally, I always pictured you and Vega together. _

_Robbie you're a nerd. But I guess your my friend too. My advice, stop trying to be cool, stop trying to be Beck. Just be you. Girls like confidence in guys. And as hard as it is to believe, girls will like you. (but ditch the puppet, he's REALLY annoying, and you're better off without him anyway)_

_Tori…..Vega…. I used to hate you. but I think we're kinda, sorta…maybeeee friends after all, and you're pretty talented too… tell anyone that and I'll make sure to come back and haunt you! oh and keep your hands off Beck…go for Andre. I know you like him._

_And to my family, well thanks. For everything. Putting up with me, letting me chase my dreams, even you dad, just thanks for everything. Take care of my little brother, he may be a pain, but maybe he'll grow up to be an okay guy afterall._

_So that's it. There are my goodbyes. Just in case I, you know, don't wake up. My eyelids are really heavy now. I'm seeing funny spots, but just one more thing before I pass out. I just want to say that I hid all of my money in…_

_HA kidding! No but seriously. I love you all. I never say it, and I certainly never show it, but I do. _

_Love,_

_Jade West…_

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><p><strong>AN okay well that's the end. Last chapter. so basically Jade dies in the trunk there and the family finds her and what not. But anyways I'm done.**

**APRIL FOOLS! Totally kidding, there is still 7 more chapters to go, but whether or not Jade lives…that is to be a mystery for right now… xP so I know this chapter is a bit short but I just wanted to post something so that you guys would have a new chapter to read since I haven't updated in forever! (WHICH I AM SO SO SO SO SO SORRY ABOUT!) but please REVIEW and please try not to favourite or follow the story without reviewing! hope you enjoyed this chapter!. it wasn't my best, but I tried!**

**Also special thanks to ****VictoriousJadefan **** for being my new Pm'ing buddy and all her kind words and reviews on this story! :)**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW and I promise I'll have an update posted soon.**

**If you're bored though I'd really love some reviews on this one-shot I wrote not too long ago (warning: it's really long!) so that would be really awesome if you wanted to review that one too. it's called "A sort of Cinderella Story". again thanks so much for your patience and for your reviews and for just reading the story!**

**~Kat**


	11. Chapter 11: Time's Up

**A/N: Hey guys! Look how quick I updated, just for you: P Before I get right to the story I'm going to clear up a few things about the last chapter. It wasn't my best and I think a few people were confused so here it goes:**

**The car Jade was originally in finally stopped at a gas station while she was awake and she hopped out of the car thinking she was far enough away from Fred that she would be able to go into the convenience store, get some food and call the police or a family member. But because she was still so panicked, when she saw a large bald head through the window of the store, she thought it was Fred and ran away hiding in the only spot available, the trunk of a different car that belonged to a different family. She also heard footsteps, and thought they were Fred's when they really turned out to be Beck's, although neither Beck or Jade know that each other is there. **

**Beck meets a girl who had a little brother that was also kidnapped and who they recently found. They get talking and the girl (Alice) tells Beck that she thinks the guy who kidnapped her brother is the same guy that kidnapped Jade. Even though Beck has been traveling in the direction of home, he has been going slow, still searching for Jade.**

**Jade is now really sick and takes the time to write out some farewells to her family and friends just in case she doesn't wake up.**

**Okay I hope this helps, sorry that this authors note was a bit long too :$ I know the last chapter sucked so please let me know if you have any more questions or if I messed anything else up! Thanks and enjoy**

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><p><em><span>March 27<span>__th_

_Are you seriously kidding me? Why the heck am I awake? I mean seriously, let's all think about this. Injured, suffering girl is in the back of a trunk. Is hallucinating and slowly dying. She takes the time to write out some lovely farewells to her parents and to her friends, expecting to never wake up again. She's totally prepared for everything that's about to come. Now wouldn't it just make sense if she were to just, I don't know, die or something? Or at least slip into a coma or just…just SOMETHING! No of course not, I just have to go and defy all odds and wake up (not perfectly fine by far at least). Isn't this just so freaking fantastic? Well I'm not writing any more goodbyes that's for sure. If I do die, just go back a page, my farewells will be written there and stuff. I've written too many of them as it is._

_But I could probably write another one to Beck_

_I can't believe I just said that. Life without coffee and other foods and beverages has really turned me into quite the sap hasn't it?_

_I looked down at my watch and squinted into the darkness trying to make out the time. I wanted so badly to turn on the little light so it would be easier to read, but that would drain the little battery left almost instantly. I shifted my weight as lightly and easily as I could trying to roll over to the other side without giving any clue to the family in the car that they had an unwelcome passenger. Even that small, quick movement exhausted me and I had to put down my pen and take a few seconds to relax before I had the strength to lift my head and pick up my pen again. I wish I had my phone with me. I could play little games on it to help pass the time. There's this one, it's called furious hamsters, which Beck and I always used to play on long car rides when André would insist on driving. I never let anyone else ever touch my phone, except for Beck. I'm not sure why I trusted him so much. I guess I just knew he would never hurt me the way my past boyfriends had. Sometimes it's hard to even remember how Beck and I met, let alone started dating. It just seems like I've known him, and loved him all my life. I think this is how I met him though._

_When I was 9 Beck moved from Canada to California with his parents. His dad had gotten a job opportunity too good to pass up. Beck was a pretty easy going kid. He was sad about leaving behind his friends and his family, but he knew he would get the chance to go back and visit, and he was excited to come to Hollywood, especially since that's where all the movie stars lived. When he was 10 his parents decided to go away for a few weeks in the summer. Seeing as they had no family nearby, and hadn't met any super close friends that they would trust watching their son for 2 weeks, they sent Beck to-of course- a performing arts camp. The same camp I was at. It didn't take long for Beck and I to get the leads in the end-of-camp play or for either of us to become the most popular 10 year olds there. Talent was something we both a good amount of. What with spending hours of time each day working together on the play and finding out we lived just down the street from one another, Beck and I became friends. That is when we weren't competing against one another to see who got the best scores in music class, or the loudest applause in our acting lessons. (For the record, the acting challenges were totally rigged. Those little 10 year old idiots clearly didn't understand the awesomeness of "clowns don't bounce.")_

_It took me a while to get close to Beck, but what with living so close to one another, we spent a lot of time together that summer and he saw all different sides of me. Beck and I stayed close friends throughout the years. I was the one who told him about the auditions for Hollywood Art's and Cat, Beck and I all auditioned together. We we're great friends for a while. But things got hard for Beck and I once I saw all of the girls constantly flirting with him. I know it shouldn't have mattered to me; after all, Beck and I were just friends. But it did, it made me feel insecure. These girls we're blond and pretty cheerleaders. They we're preppy and sweet, the kind of girls that boys usually fell over each other trying to carry their books for them. And then there was me. Long brown hair with different coloured extensions every week. My makeup was usually darker and so were my clothes. I was different, I didn't fit in to the stereotypical "popular girl." I was pretty though, and very talented, so I did get a lot of attention from boys. But they usually broke up with me, and week or two into dating. I never heard if Beck was dating anyone during that time, I had cut off all ties with him for two months straight, because it was too hard to be around him and all of those blond….. Airheads! _

_It shouldn't have mattered to me who he dated or talked to, but it really did._

_One rainy Saturday morning Beck took me by surprise and called me early in the morning (okay it was like 11:00, still wayyy to early in my opinion) and asked me to see a movie with him. When I asked him why he simply said he missed me. Blushing slightly, I told him to pick me up in 20 minutes and then we went to see the new horror film playing. "The scissoring." He insisted on paying for my ticket and just chuckled when I sent him one of my glares that usually gets me whatever I want. As we watched the movie, it felt like old times. And when he slipped his arm around the back of my seat, I didn't even protest. It was still raining when we left the theatre and just our luck; I had accidently left the door partial way open and it now the truck wouldn't start. He wasn't mad at me though. He just smiled, shut the door completely and suggested we walk back to his house instead. He even gave me his jacket to pull on so I had a hood to keep my hair dry. It was easily a half hour walk and we chatted comfortably along the way about school and just making small conversation. He made me laugh. I hadn't smiled in so long. And then so suddenly I didn't even have time to think about it I blurted out _

"_So which of those blonde idiots are you dating these days?" Beck looked at kind of confused for a few moments._

"_Jade I'm not dating anyone. I dated one girl for about a week after you stopped talking to me, but it didn't work out. She wasn't the person I liked." He paused for a moment the added, "who are you seeing?"_

"_No one," I said maybe a little too quickly. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I could have sworn I saw a flicker of relief cross his face._

"_Oh," Beck replied. We walked along in awkward silence for a few more minutes until Beck suddenly stopped. "Jade I asked you out today for a reason, I wanted to take a chance. I like you, a LOT. I think I may be in love with you."_

_My heart hammered and I stepped a bit closer to him. I fiddled with the sleeves of his jacket and breathed in deeply. Ugh, it smelt just like him, so sweet and just perfect. "I think I might like you too," I said, barely speaking above a whisper. The grin that spread across Beck's face was so big that I felt a smile creep onto my face as well. He pulled me close and lifted my chin._

"_We're not going to do something corny and cliché like kiss in the rain, are we?" I muttered getting closer and closer to his face as I said this. He didn't respond but instead kissed me hard on the lips. My arms found their way around his neck and tangled themselves in his thick brown hair. His wrapped tightly around my waist brining me closer and closer…_

_The next morning I was in bed with the stomach flu, and Beck called to tell me "feel better." He would have come over, but he was sick with a cold and a fever of 104._

_Getting a bit off topic here, but I think I'm going to fall asleep soon and I just want to write this before I do. There are many reasons I want to live, and I was thinking about this as I wrote before. These are the reasons that I want to get out of this stupid trunk and live! :_

_So I can become a famous actress/ singer and be known all over the world_

_So I can defeat Vega out for the lead in every school play from now on_

_So I can one day visit the national scissor museum_

_SO I CAN DRINK 1 MORE CUP OF COFFEE!_

_So I can make my dad proud of me_

_So I can be the first bride to have a black dress_

_So I can see all the crushed faces of those blonde bimbos who have been trying to get with Beck since the day I went missing_

_So I can one day make Sikowitz wear shoes to class_

_So I can put on my play "Clown's Don't Bounce" for the entire school, after Vega ruined it for her stupid "Prome" last time_

_So I can see and hug and kiss Beck, just one last time. So I can tell him I love him._

_I looked down at my watch and let the pencil roll around lazily in my hands as I strained just to keep my eyes open. The number ticked one last time and then the numbers blurred. A tiny high pitched beep went off just once and then the watch went silent. The pencil fell out of my hand, and I blacked out before my head hit the ground. The watch battery was dead, and my time was up._

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><p><strong>March 28<strong>**th**

**I know I was supposed to be home yesterday. But I just couldn't go back. After I talked to Alice the other day I was filled with this new…determination I guess you could call it. After all, if Alice was able to find her brother even though he had been missing for months and months, it gave me new hope that Jade was still out there somewhere. A very coffee deprived Jade that is****…. On second thought maybe I should just leave her.**** KIDDING! That was a joke a total joke. Oh god why did I even write that! If Jade ever sees that she'll kill me! I know I shouldn't be making jokes, but I'm just in such a happy mood. I shouldn't be, but hope does that to a guy. So I've been driving around every which way possible, searching all the little back streets and smaller towns. I've more posters on telephone poles than I can count, but no luck so far. That's okay though, as anxious as I am to see my girlfriend, I have this feeling that I'll get to see her again soon.**

**The sun was just starting to set when my phone rang. For the first few days after I had left town my phone had rang non-stop, but then it had grown silent after the people back home had finally realized I wasn't going to answer. Out of habit I checked the caller I.D. It was Andre. I let it ring once more, debating on whether or not to answer it. I knew I could trust Andre, but I still wasn't sure if I felt like talking to him. On a spur of the moment decision however, I answered it.**

"**Hello," I said trying to sound calm and collected.**

"**BECK! Thank god, we weren't even sure you were alive. I mean, Cat kept saying you were, but well…you know Cat."**

**I laughed half-heartedly and realized just how much I missed my friends. "Well no worries man, I'm doing perfectly fine. "**

"**Why did you even go?" there was a pause. "Could you just not handle life without Jade?"**

"**Partially," I admitted. "But I think you know the real reason I left."**

"**You're looking for Jade, aren't you?" Andre took my silence as a yes. "Listen, you know I know how you feel about Jade, but you need to come home. You need to give up, Jade's gone, and she's not coming back."**

"**No she's not gone! I was talking to this girl the other day and…." Andre cut me off.**

"**No, No more of pretending Beck. Jade is dead, she's gone, you need to move on, you need to forget about her. I can't believe this of you, I mean, I can understand Cat being in denial, but **_**you?**_** Why can`t you just accept it?**

"**BECAUSE SHE'S NOT DEAD!" I roared into my phone. I was angry now, how could Andre just give up so easily.**

"**Yes Beck, she is. Even her parents think she is, that's why they had the candlelight ceremony, so we could all let go. Now it's your turn. You need to come back home. Your parents are worried sick about you. Just come back, you can go see Lane and we can get you into therapy. We can help you accept it, and move on. It feels so much better after you have. I feel like the biggest weight has been lifted off my shoulders, like I can breathe again… come home Beck." I sat there in silence for a few minutes, thinking over what he had just said. It would be so nice to just forget it all, move on and remove all of this pressure from my chest. But this was Jade.**

"**Andre, I found where she was at though. I was at the kidnapper's house. It's so far away from Hollywood though and there's snow everywhere. He called me and told me to bring him the money and he would give me Jade! But when I got there Jade had escaped!I know she's out there." This time it was Andre's turn to be silent.**

"**Beck you know the chances of Jade being able to survive in weather that cold right? And even if she did, she could be anywhere right now. Just come back, your parents and friends are worried sick about you."**

"**But what about Jade," I almost pleaded. I heard Andre sigh.**

"**Report it to the police. I can ask Tori if she thinks you have enough information for the police to get a search warrant of the kidnapper's house. That's all we can do Beck, you're never going to get anywhere just searching for Jade like this. At least this way, even if Jade isn't…you know…alive then we can at least make sure her murderer never kidnaps another child again."**

**Once again I took a minute to mull things over. "Okay, I'm coming home. Talk to Tori and give me a call as soon as you know. I'll see you in a few hours." And with that I hung up the phone. **

**Andre's call had been made in hope that I would give up Jade. But I wasn't going to. I was just going to give my heart a bit of a break. I'd go back, turn Fred in and rest up. But if Jade wasn't back in a week, I'd be out there again…looking for her.**

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><p>AN: so that's the end. This chapter is a bit longer, and I'm sorry for the lack of excitement. Still I hope you enjoyed and I will update the next chapter once I get 96 reviews total! So review review review! :D and you will get yourselves an update ;)

**~Kat**


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